I damn near had a heart attack this morning. I had just finished closing paperwork at the club, ready to collect everything, turn off the lights, and call it a night. Er. Day. Whatever. I was going to put my radio away, when I heard the sound of a little voice saying, "... excuse me?"
I just about jumped out of my skin. There was one of the girls that had arrived at the club earlier that night, stepping meekly out of the shadow of the closed bar. I asked her why she was still there, mentality cussing out the security company for not telling me there was still somebody in here. She explained that she had been waiting for my fellow manager, Nick, to give her a ride. Nick had left over an hour earlier. I told her as much, and she started spazzing, trying not to cry. She explained she was supposed to stay at Nick's that night, and she had nowhere else to go or anything. Long story short, we managed to get ahold of one of the DJs that had been playing that night who had invited her to his place. During the whole mess, hough, she kept asking me for advice, and confessing her feelings and fears to me.
I felt so bad for that girl. And I tried to tell her everything I wish someone had told me back when I was her age. I don't know if she'll listen, or understand, but for posterity, I'm sharing it with all of you.
1. You cannot believe anyone when they say they won't hurt you right off the bat.
They don't know you at all at that point, they don't know what will hurt yoy. They have no right to make that promise. And if you want to be close to someone, you will end up being hurt at some point. It's scary and unpleasant, and might take YEARS to come to terms with, but it is how people learn about one another and grow together.
2. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of.
Sex is fun, exciting, and when you're with someone who knows what they are doing, it is so awesome there are no accurate words to describe it. It's perfectly natural and human to want to do it, and to want to do it with multiple people. That's ok!!! What's NOT ok is allowing yourself to be disrespected for it. Don't let anyone slut shame you for something so enjoyable. Be safe, and be proud of the fact that you love yourself and your body enough to let it do its thing. Anyone who tries to make you feel lesser for it, doesn't deserve to hang out with you (and frankly, probably isn't getting laid as much as they'd like).
3. Be Safe!!!
Cannot stress this enough. Condoms, birth control- use it. And for every day life? Know your limits. Don't let anyone put you in an uncomfortable position.
4. Accidents still happen. Chlamydia is not the end of the world.
Pretty self-explanatory.
5. Work on being known for what you do, not whom or how you look.
You are more than tits and ass. Flaunt it if you want to, but don't expect a solid relationship that was built on cleavage.
6. It's ok if you hate yourself sometimes. But when you do, try facing what you hate about you.
This is probably the most terrifying thing a person can do. It requires a hell of a lot of self-awareness, and a butt ton more honesty. But you'll be much more satisfied with yourself when all is said and done.
Alright, sermon's over. Share this with anyone you know that may need to hear it.
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