Oh man.
You should never be online drunk. Ever.
You see, whenever I am drunk, I seem to think I am supposed to be productive. This can be a positive thing- I have been known to clean my room, do dishes, wash my dogs, and sweep impeccably while in a drunk shitshow haze. However, NOT good when I have internet access. I seem to get the grand idea that I am a financial genius when drunk (very untrue), and I will get onto travel websites and browse. Usually, I pass out before doing anything truly stupid, but Sunday night... oh boy.
You see, we had wrapped on the commercial that I got hired onto, and so we had a wrap party. We. Got. HAMMERED. At the end of the night, a cab was called for my drunk ass, and I was taken home. Where I then proceeded to hop online, and decide that, "fuck it!", I was going to go to Birmingham the next day to see J. Apparently, Drunk Andi is a bargin shopper. Like, bottom of the barrel bargin shopper. I reserved bus tickets to get there and back, and then proceeded to reserve a hotel room. I woke up the next morning remembering all of this, and cursing my dumb ass and the hangover I brought myself. So, head spinning, I headed to the bus station and headed west for the day.
I took a greyhound to Birmingham, and was lucky enough to not have to sit next to any tragedies. Got to Alabama, wandered the city a bit, then met up with J. After a hangover-curing sushi dinner, we went to the hotel I had booked so I could check in. It was an America's Best Inns and Suites.
It took the receptionist 15 minutes to check me in, and it just went downhill from there. When J and I headed to my room, we passed a side table wih a wadded up purple thong. Then, we passed a woman who looked so rough in my hall, there's no way she WASN'T on something. Upon entry in the room, I encountered the ugliest bedspread I have ever seen, the refrigerator door came completely off, and there were mysterious stains in the bathroom. It was so revolting, it was hysterically funny. I started checking all of the drawers, just to make sure nothing would jump out at me in the night. So lesson learned: if I want to take a trip to B'ham ever, don't book drunk. Don't ever book drunk.
Really, they should just install Breathalyzers on computers. Think of how many terrible facebook dramas and other internet horror stories could be avoided by your laptop telling you to just go pass out, you're drunk! Engineers, get on that. Thanks!
The following photo is from my younger drinking days. I am sharing it to illustrate my clearly amazing decision-making skills.
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