My nails have been painted for two weeks straight.
For the first time in over a year.
It is incredible to me. Actually having the free time to do and maintain them, and NOT be panicking over not working? Why, I may actually be becoming a real human being!
Maybe it's because I'm finally not stressed about money as much anymore- it's still a bit tight at the moment, but I know that it will be fine soon. I'm finally earning enough to mentally justify time off. I can finally repay debts to friends, and family, and before the year ends. I haven't been able to say that... ever. I will be able to have a not - heinous credit report by December. In a shockingly roundabout way, I am finally becoming the adult I've thought I should be.
That excites me. It excites me a lot. Because along with the knowledge that I am finally a real adult, in age and in mindset, I will finally feel comfortable pursuing the "grown-up" goals I set for myself years ago- maintain a healthy relationship. Have a child. Return to improv comedy. Start my bar.
My new job is teaching me a lot. Especially about how much I still need to learn. But instead of wanting to throw a fit and bust heads, Adult Me is allowing myself to be calmer, more analytical. It's a nice change of pace from the ridiculous amounts of anxiety I used to cling to.
Best part?
Adult Me still totally justifies gummi bears for breakfast. :D
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