When I was first starting in restaurants, my first boss used to tell me, "Almost doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades... and not always in horseshoes, but ALWAYS in hand grenades." It took me years to even get a basic idea of what that meant, but the older I get, the more sense it makes.
I recently got dumped. And to be fair, it was for the best. He and I had very different life goals, and we each discovered deal breakers about the other that we can't get past. We're still cordial. But it still stings. I was willing to go ALL in, and the realization he wasn't even nearly that close to my level hurt. I play with hand grenades. He plays with horseshoes. I do wish him the best in life, but this really solidified what my goals are in life, and the dating arena. Almost is never going to be good enough for me. I might be able to tell myself that I'd be fine with less than I deserve, and I probably could be. But what the fuck would the point be?
I am old enough to realize that I would much rather be single, and spend my days alone, than be with someone who will make me feel lonely. I am a fascinating, complicated human being, and I deserve every single happiness on my terms. I don't need much, I'm pretty uncomplicated. But being more familiar with what my dealbreakers are is going to do wonders for me.
I have a lot of plans ahead. A lot of wonderful adventures in the works. I will never have time for a halfassed game of horseshoes. I've got to be ready and willing to pull the pin, and let my hand grenade fly.
