Venturing Forward

I'm not one to profess any sort of belief in fate. In fact, the idea of it, from a logic standpoint, is just downright silly. But occasionally coincidences stack up just enough to make me curious if the universe is trying to tell me something. And, being that I have a tendency to be a bit dense, sometimes it takes quite the smack upside the head for me to get it.

My week in Atlanta was an incredible whirlwind of reminiscing and reminders of why I left in the first place. The Food and Wine festival was an absolute blast, and every aching muscle and drop of sweat was worth it. It really brought attention to the sense of community amongst all southerners (be they Carolinian, Georgian, or anything else) that I've been missing so much. And then my world got an extra little shake up that solidified things for me. So I'm going back south.

Now, I am going to try to move to Nashville, but there is a very real possibility that I will be back in Atlanta for a few months before that happens- a lot is up in the air. But beyond that, I am finally ready to take advantage of some of the opportunities I pushed aside because I thought I couldn't hack it. I'm finally wearing my grown-up shoes, and I'm ready to create the life I want. Unfortunately, my wine studies may wind up taking a back burner, since the sudden move is going to utterly drain my meager savings, but I have a much better game plan for moving on, and moving forward. California has been an eye-opening, wonderful chapter, and I am finally ready to live for me again and not spite or misguided altruism. And this time, I am not getting waylaid by my tendency to take others emotional well-being on as my responsibility!

Regrounded

I'm technically in the middle of my move. I no longer have an address, but I'm not quite headed to California just yet. I took a pit stop at Intervention, an internet convention in Rockville, MD (http://WWW.interventioncon.com). I've been going to this convention for years, unfortunately missing last year due to work. And holy shit, I needed this weekend! It was an honest intervention in every sense for me.

The stress over the past few weeks has rattled me more than I had realized. I have been a needy, clinging, desperate version of myself that I haven't been since high school. And then I came here, and it felt like home. I still have a pile of responsibilities I need to sort out, but being here? Seeing familiar faces, reminding myself of the person I grew into over the years- it's like I've refreshed as a person. I am not the depressed twit that left Atlanta with shame and tears. I am a stubborn, crass, sweet hellion with the best intentions and the some of the worst jokes. I am going to California to kick ass, make wine, and cook hard. I will be responsible and refuse to grow up. I'm a series of contradictions, and I am so happy I got reminded of that before I lost myself entirely.

I'm making a cocktail to celebrate the occasion. I'm probably going to make it with a sparkling sake base- clean, effervescent, and one of the first alcohols I figured out I enjoyed in Atlanta. Seems appropriate for a new beginning!

"Grounded in the Desert"
Served in a champagne flute

2 parts sparkling sake
1 part St George's Terroir Gin
Dash of angostura bitters
Topped with cranberry juice

Go West!

I've been blogging for over a year. Not consistently, by any means, but I've done it. It's something I never thought I'd have the patience to do. It's an exciting idea! A lot of things have been changing recently.  Things are going fine, I just had a mild epiphany that I was bored.
I love Atlanta, there's no question about that. But when I was younger, I always dreamed of going to California, becoming famous, the whole nine. As I got older, I let reality dictate more and more of my life until I was working comfortable (though not necessarily stable) jobs, and settling for a life I'm no longer 100% sold on. It got me thinking.  If I had to look my 10-year-old self in the eye, and explain my life to her, what would she think of me. More jarring- if I have a daughter one day, I will have to explain a few things to her. How am I supposed to look a kid in the eye and say, "Work hard and you can make your dreams come true" when so far my own life has been, "Work hard and eh, your life will be not entirely shitty"? I may be a hypocrite on a few things, but I never want to be called a hypocrite for my life values. So, I'm finally going to work on making my California dream come true!
I've been applying for seasonal jobs assisting with wine harvests for this fall. If all goes well, that will hopefully give me a strong enough foothold to find permanent work out there. My prospects look good- I've got my local wine contacts putting out feelers for me, I applied at 8 different vineyards yesterday and already had a phone interview with one I feel pretty confident about. It looks like things may come together really well for me.
The idea of going west is daunting,  no argument there. However, compared to when I first came to Atlanta? I feel WAY better about things. I actually have friends where I'm going, for starters! And yeah, I'll be broke for a bit while I'm out there. But hey, I'm broke here in Atlanta too. I just have to keep reminding myself that regardless of what happens,  I will survive it and be more awesome for it.