Brain Fried

While this is being posted later,  I happen to be writing at 3:42am. I have spent the last 2 weekends in a whirlwind of activity,  and it finally has my brain in such a tizzy that I can't sleep.

Last weekend was Alchemy,  a burn that takes place in the North Georgia mountains. For those of you unfamiliar,  it's effectively a smaller scale Burning Man. Bunch of folks just camping in the woods, creating a temporary autonomous society based on self reliance and a hell of a good time. I had a blast.  Turned off my phone, had a stash of granola and box wine, and proceeded to hang out with some of my dearest friends that I haven't been able to see in mooonths. Reconnecting with everyone was wonderful,  even in the 30-40ºF nights, haha.

This weekend was Taste of Atlanta,  one of my favorite responsibilities all year. One of the largest food festivals in the Southeast, I work for them every year in some capacity or another. This year, I was their VIP Experience manager,  which meant I was in charge of organizing volunteers for that section,  and once I was on site, making sure everything went as smoothly as possible. I have never been so busy and so exhausted in my life.  My first year managing, and I learned a crapload!  I had help from some fantastic volunteers,  and I can't wait to do it again next year, but oh man. Every time I close my eyes,  I am back at the festival site, assisting with the breakdown. I never thought I could ever get this tired from just a dream. Or is it a nightmare at this point?

Succulence, Spice, and Spirit(s)

What a crazy few weeks it's been! I have been in a pissy mood the past couple of weeks, and thank god Mom taught me, "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!"; otherwise this blog would have been exceptionally bitter for a minute. Thankfully, I have hit my stride, things are in an upward-mobile direction, and I am ready to kick some ass!

So, what have I been up to? Well, for starters,  club life and I most decidedly did NOT work out. Between differences in opinion between the upper management and I,  and the truly awful people that actually attended the club, it was far better for me to part ways. I now focus more on freelance film production stuff, and I'm going to start waiting tables again at a local bar to guarantee bills get paid.

I did break things off with J. I weighed the pros and cons, and then I re-read, 'He's Just Not That Into You'. And then it hit me that he did not, in fact, like me as much as I do him. It might seem silly to take a book to heart like that, but it is the only relationship book that has ever told the blunt, unshakeable truth. So I trust it a hell of a lot more than anyone or any other book that insists that relationships are based on analyzation of the other person. So I  the end, sure, I still have feelings for him, but I'm not waiting or wasting the fabulousness that is myself on a pipedream. I'm ready to put my energy and emotions into a relationship that is actually reciprocated.

On a happier note, my garden hasn't died yet! I've even added more to it. It's got kale, lavender, and dill now; and I'm attempting to start some carrot, pumpkin, and baby cucumber seeds before the weather gets really cold. Hopefully they turn out- So far everything else has been doing great, and the tomatoes keep producing more buds! I'm feeling optimistic, despite the naysayers in the hardware store garden department.  :)

Lastly,  I have been lucky enough to taste a plethora of new foods I have never tried before! And happily enough, 2 of 3 places are suuuper local, and suuuuper cheap! Jamaican, Croatian, and Ethiopian- I'm so lucky I live in such a diverse city! The corner store by my house has started selling Jamaican meat patties- tasty savory pastries filled with rich, spicy meats. It's the healthiest, home-made Hot Pocket I've ever had. The dude who makes them is super-chill too, I really want to chat with him more about the patties. In a food truck park about a mile away? Croatian food truck, run by 2 brothers who are using recipes taught to them all their lives. And let me tell you,  the whatever they gave me? Oooooh, man. I need to go back there to get a more detailed explanation of whatever I ate. It was succulent,  savory, and the meat just melted apart in my mouth. Just talking about it gets me drooling!  The Ethiopian place is a bit further away, in the outer perimeter area of the city, but the style of food was awesome. It was also spicy, similar to the Jamaican but a bit more rustic,  and more importantly- I got to eat with my hands! I read up on the etiquette afterwards and apparently I probably offended a lot of people by using both hands (in Ethiopia,  you are only supposed to use the right). I'll have to practice for the future.

I'm excited for what's ahead.  For the few steps back I took, I am sure that what's ahead is going to reap rewards!

German - Italian

Tonight was my last night managing at the club. I'm not quitting the place entirely,  however for my own sanity's sake, I demoted myself to bartending.  Better money, better scheduling,  and no more bitchy  emails on my days off!
Coincidentally,  tonight feels like the best night I've ever managed in that place. I went for broke tonight, simply ceasing to give two shits and a fuck about what anyone thought, and boy, did it pay off. I wound up emulating my mom in the best (and funniest) way possible. And got called racist for my efforts (or lack thereof).
You see, I was closing bartenders out for the night when one came to me needing a credit card transaction voided. The guy had changed his mind, the drinks were not made yet, no harm no foul. I go ahead and tell the bartender to let him know that I was voiding it, and to warn him that his bank would hold those funds for up to three days, but he would ultimately get the money back. She does so, and the kid starts getting snotty and rude. He asks to see the manager. I, being right there and having witnessed the exchange, introduced myself. The bartender begins to explain to me what just occurred in front of me, and the kid cuts her off and gave her "the hand". He tells her, "I'm talking to HER now"
I begin to lose my patience at this point. I inform him that there is no need to be rude to my bartender.  He then decided to cut me off. And I went off.

"You're right- you ARE talking to me now. And you are now going to shut the fuck up and stop interrupting me so this can get through your thick fucking skull. For starters,  you will NOT disrespect my bartenders. They are cool as shit, and all this one has been trying to do is assist you and be nice about it. Two- no, I told you to shut the hell up and stop interrupting,  you're done- two, you will get your money back, that is guaranteed.  Three, you are done talking to any of us at all because you didn't tip anyway before this happened. And lastly, if you want to discuss things like an adult, you need to behave like an adult in the first place. Instead you get this- management, bitch!"

I waved my staff badge at him, and finished closing out my bartenders. He tried to continue complaining to the other bartender who happened to be standing by us all, which is when the racist remark got dropped. Dude got looked at like he was frickin' stupid, and we all finished our night and lived happily ever after. 

Moral of the story? Don't be that twat.

Timing?

On October 2, J and I will have known each other for a year. This is easily the longest relationship I've been in. And I have no idea what to think at the moment.
The last time he and I had a "relationship" talk, he said he wants to get to know me better. My hopes, dreams, what I want out of life, what makes me angry, that whole shebang. Fair, valid. I want to know the same. About him, and myself. 
I'm not really one for planning. I don't really have a solid, end-all be-all plan for my life. I have things I want to happen, but no timeline. In my mind, life is too fluid for that. I know I want to get married. I want kids. I want to own a bar. I kind of want to be Malory Archer, haha. I would prefer to have J there with me.
However,  I don't know if now is the right time for us. I love him, there's no question about that. But I don't know if he can give me the amount of attention I need right now. Being long distance and in restaurants is freaking hard. We text every day, and manage to phone most days, but lately I've been feeling lonelier than usual.  I almost wonder if I should take the pressure off both of us and make our relationship more casual. I can't pretend that's not selfish of me, I want someone here with me. But that's just cruel of me, whoever I would be with would be a placeholder. I have no right to do that. I honestly have no idea what to do. Give up the man I love for temporary comfort,  or stay with him and put up with the loneliness that I don't even have a guarantee will end? When is enough, enough? And when does this just become settling? I hate making responsible decisions.

$16 Olive Oil

Craft beer. Boutique wines. Local, small-batch cheese. Every time I turn around, someone is making specialty something-or-other edible that I just HAVE to try. And even better for me if I get the chance to see how/where it is made! You make sausage? Let me see your butcher shop. I go on brewery tours just to say that I've been to a specific brewery- I can already explain the brewing process in detail. I am a nerd for this kind of thing, and if you let me I will get all up in somebody's cheese cellar to poke around.
These days, I'm noticing olive oil is making a more definitive footprint. Food magazines rave about it,  and the grocery store shelves are bursting with variety. When I was younger,  I thought it was overkill- oil was oil was oil, right? And when I did discover olive oil imparted a different flavor,  I was still unimpressed. I was using a very generic brand, and all it did was give it a skunky flavor. A friend of mine tried to turn me on to using olive oil as a dipping sauce for bread- I remember thinking he was off his rocker. I just could not get my head around the idea that this weird greenish grease could not suck. I don't even remember what changed my mind- sometime in the recent-ish past, I gave it another shot. That time, I got it right. The subtle,  nuanced flavors of a higher quality oil opened my eyes... and gave me another expensive flavor hobby.
Now I find myself sipping on straight oils during tasting events. I experiment with infusions.  I spend twice as much on an 8oz bottle than I do for my eyebrow waxes. And now, I'm contemplating dragging J four hours south of Atlanta to tour an olive farm. Fun fact- apparently Georgia grows splendid olives! There happens to be a pecan farm near the olive farm, too, so maybe I can get more into nuts while I'm there...