Career moves

I've been stuck in a bit of a rut lately, trying to come up with what to write about. I have been working more, gearing up for the Atlanta Food and Wine Festival. I love this festival, go every year! And thanks to the TimeHop app, I'm getting nice little reminders of what I was doing last year at this time. Last year, I had just received my internship in Sonoma. I had a boyfriend, too many animals, constant stress, and only the vaguest idea of what I wanted my future to be. Now?

I'm actually happier. Ish. To an extent. It's probably better to say I'm more driven, certainly. I'm single, very very single, but I'm happy with that. I get to spend time with my best friend, my dog, and eat tacos on the beach. And for once? I have a 10 year plan. I'm back to the sassy broad I was in high school, and it's great. And I have been getting more jazzed about my future than ever before. I'm seeing friends getting to do incredible things with their careers, and I have some awesome opportunities coming up for myself! I've been happy cooking at home, and I cannot wait to work the festival and try all of the amazing southern food I miss so much! And the people I'll get to meet? I am mentally doing cartwheels!!!

~Romance~ and Reality

For the first Valentine's day in 12 years, I am not working. For the umpteenth Valentine's day, I am dateless. One would expect me to be bitter, like so many of my cynical friends. But I am an eternal optimist, and a romantic. Or sucker, whatever you want to call it.

As a general rule of thumb, restaurant industry folks don't celebrate Valentine's day on the 14th. If they have a significant other in the first place. For the ones that do, they go out a week earlier or later, or do something sweet like cook dinner or whatever else is vomit-inducingly adorable. For the single ones, we generally go get blackout drunk after the shift and wind up in bed with a stranger, a coworker, or strange coworker.

Coming from an industry standpoint, relationships are HARD. It's so easy to get caught up in the "hit it and quit it" transient mentality, thanks to the weird hours and staff turnover, that actually connecting with someone is difficult to maintain. I thoroughly enjoyed the hookup culture, and the one quasi-serious relationship I had with a chef was one of the most emotionally fulfilling I had ever had. Being single is infinitely easier in the long run. And right now, it's what I need.

I'm trying to finally focus my career, solidify myself as an adult, the whole nine yards. My application to James Beard Foundation Women in Culinary Leadership grant has actually managed to get to the interview stage. If I get it, it would be a massive step for me career-wise. I am so excited for that. I'm really ready to focus. And, if all goes well, maybe next year I'll be in a stable place where I can focus on making a relationship work. Or, you know, kicking ass again solo.

In the meantime, this year, my best gal pal and I are going chill with a $3 bottle of wine and chill with some good ol' crockpot cooking.

Humanist Rant

I was elated. I hopped out of the Schwartz,  the battered old piece of shit van that it is, and squealed for joy. *I* had just fixed a major wiring problem!  All by myself!  (Ok, sure, a wire had just jiggled loose and I reconnected it, but considering that one wire controlled everything electronic in the thing, starter motor included? I am fucking proud of that!) I had parked outside of work, and was about to warn the owner that the van was staying put for a few days until I was able to take it to a repair shop next Tuesday.  One of the bartenders saw me first.

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed, clearly shocked, "You're a girl!"

"Last time I checked!" I am wearing a skirt and knee-high black boots today with a flattering turtleneck sweater. Not the usual jeans-tshirt-apron-bandanna look he was used to.

"Are you sick? On the run? Do you need an alibi?"

Sigh.

That one little convo has been repeated in my life more than anything should be. It has only recently began to bother me because frankly, after 11 years' in this industry,  why is it still surprising? 

I recently read 'Blood, Bones, and Butter' by Chef Gabrielle Hamilton, and finally found a chef I can relate to out of the countless memoirs I've read. She, like myself, got into this industry by accident. She, like myself, has stayed because we don't know how to really do anything else  (well, she's an amazing writer, but she's also got a few years on me. Lucky her.). And she,  much like  myself, could not figure out why in the fuck being a woman in commercial kitchens is still a discussion point.

It dawned on me today, and this spans all industries,  that people have ceased to discern the difference between People and Careers. Van living has driven home a personal belief of mine that I do not ultimately want to be defined by my Career, but by how I have lived. The trouble with this, however, is I am constantly being evaluated by my feild of work. I am a Cook. I am a Server. I am a Beer Store Clerk. I am a Manager. I am a Chef.

No.

I am a Human Being. You are a Human Being. Everyone is a Human Being.

Yes, certain stereotypes can be made in various career feilds. However, at the end of the day, if I choose to wear skirts and pick flowers or do other girly shit, it is because I AM A HUMAN BEING THAT ENJOYS THOSE THINGS. I am an accidental chef out of a passion for food and a decent dose of spite acquired by working in the industry. The discussion should not be, "How has being a woman in ex-and-such feild affected the status quo", and it definitely shouldn't be a pissing contest between genders. The discussion needs to be, "As a human being, are you capable of the work, and do you enjoy it?" Otherwise, it opens the door for overblown Michelin-starred assholes to discredit an entire portion of the workforce (I'm not bothering to link that article because frankly, fuck that guy) and for shit like GamerGate to be a thing (Google it if you want to lose your faith in people entirely ).

I am a chef. I am also a girl, a friend, a lover, a collegue, a bit obscene, and polite to people whom I respect. I will continue to live exactly as I deem fit, career be damned. And I hope, for all that is right in the world, People figure out that They are worth far more than whatever price their Career has assigned them.

Cue the Elton John, the Bitch is Back!

WHAT a crazy few months! Did NOT mean to be disconnected for as long as I was.

For starters, my employment situation has changed drastically.  I am now once again back to one solo job, that I have been adoring so far. I am now a bar/event manager at a local 18+ nightclub, so far that means I watch college kids hump and "twerk" for a decent salary.  It's like watching my own personal episode of COPS every night.

Also, J and I have been progressing in a positive way! We are about to hit  the 10 month mark, and it looks as if we may be having another "define the relationship" talk soon- the good kind!

Otherwise,  I discovered that I had been a hermit for far too long, so I have been getting out more and spending time with my friends and favorite bartenders. All in all, good things! Current goals are simply to get out of debt and keep J and I's relationship going strong. I have a lot of cool career stuff that will be coming up soon to focus and blog on, so that should be fun for everyone to peek in on! Much love, guys, and thanks for coming back!