Testosteroney-O's

It should come as no surprise that I am a tomboy.  I grew up with 2 brothers, 5 male cousins, and a bunch of uncles in a very military-focused family. We played rough, watching hockey and playing video games together,  and being outdoorsy.  I can pitch a tent in 10 minutes and make a slapshot.
Coincidentally, I have far more guy friends than girl. I can count my close girl friends on one hand.  It was never intended like that, guys just make more sense to me. I also have the rare self-awareness that girls are batshit insane, and I can barely handle my own crazy most of the time.
I love having guy's nights. Nights where the guys and I will go out, get hammered on whiskey or beer, watch stupid cartoons or sports,  and eat meat. Preferably steak. Nights where we live like Ron Swanson for a few hours. Those are good nights.
Occasionally, significant others will get curious.  I make sure to inform any potential suitors about my guy friend ratio, because if there is one thing that pisses me off, it's unwarranted jealousy. They raise eyebrows and may ask questions,  but I'm ok with that - it's a respect thing for me. More often than not, it's my friends' girlfriends that get bent out of shape because they have not been properly appraised of the situation. Let me get on my soapbox here for a minute...
Relationships are about trust and respect,  period. If you ever find yourself questioning the other person's motives or intentions,  you probably need to take a step back and really think about whether you are in in for the right reasons period. There is no point in staying with someone to avoid loneliness,  that's fucking stupid. So shame on my guys for not being straightforward with their ladies, and shame on the ladies for overreacting.  And for god's sake, if you break up with someone,  that is one or both of you saying, "I do not want you as a romantic interest in my life anymore", NOT "we actually are still in love just give me a week or two to remember". Love is not something that gets forgotten.
So coming back to my point. A couple nights ago, I was having a guy's night with one of my friends. We drank whiskey,  hung out in dive bars, made steak, and had a grand old time. I wound up passing out at his house,  in his bed, fully clothed. There was plenty of blankets and whatnot separating us, it was clearly platonic. I woke up to the following story:
*His ex girlfriend* came home in the middle of the night with a mutual friend of all of ours (she knows me as well, we're friends), and found us passed out.  Apparently, my friend woke up to her standing over him in the dark, where she proceeded to have a meltdownand left. I, thankfully, slept through the whole thing.
I processed this information,  shook my head, and got ready for work. My friend also got dressed,  he lives a town over and was going to drive me back to the city. We were up pretty early,  contemplating getting coffee and whatnot. And thank god we were- he couldn't find his keys. He is a creature of habit, he always follows a routine. He doesn't lose things because he always knows where he puts them, the exact same place they always go. Following so far? So you can guess where this is going.
She took his keys.
Didn't take the car, even left the wallet. But took the keys and forced me to take a $30 cab ride to work. I can understand being upset, I can even see it possibly being an accident.  But ladies of the world,  let me put this out there for you...
IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ABSOLUTELY NUTTERBUTTERS, MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T AFFECT ANYONE BUT YOUR CRAZY ASS. We all know when we are going off the deep end.  It's got it's warning signs. But if you are thinking of some stupid revenge thing, or arguing with a person, chances are you are going to wind up screwing with a third party that had nothing to do with it. I say this with love- be fucking classy, and keep the insanity to yourself and your therapist. Otherwise,  I am happy to share these kinds of stories on the Internet.  And laugh the whole day through.