The past week, I have learned that I am faaaar more competitive than I thought I was. I also learned that apparently, people close to me weren't suprised at all. Crazy how you perceive yourself vs how the world sees you, right?
I guess I had blinders on because I am selectively competitive. I never bothered with sports because to me, they seemed stupid and pointless. Funny story: the stuff I get competitive over now? Pretty much stupid as hell. Work contests to sell the most beer, passing training with flying colors and being a better smartypants know-it-all than anyone else? I am ALL OVER that. I go for what my brain sees as the "sure win", something I am 100% sure I can do. And if I fail? I get snotty and pretend that I don't care. Yeah, I'm a pretty sore loser, haha.
What's even dumber? I have a tendency to do that when it comes to guys, too. I actively engage with guys I want, but if I get the feeling they aren't into me? I drop them into the friendzone faster than a stripper's bra hits the floor. I demand equal chase ffrom them, and when it doesn't happen, well, what's the point? On the one hand, it means I will probably be single for a looooong time. On the other, isn't it better to hold a potential partner to a higher standard than people you would be friends with? I love my friends, but I don't want to marry them. The One has to step up his or her game. I don't need them to be a superhero, but they had better be able to distinguish themself. I want the best, and I'm not afraid to ask for it.
... Seriously, how did I not know how competitive I am??
No comments:
Post a Comment