Glassful

Well I've been away longer than I like! Had a rough couple of days after I got back from Birmingham, but managed to get back to where I need to be! More on that later, but first, an important lesson!

How I slow myself down whilst draaaaankin':

First off, drankin is not drinking. By a long shot. Drinking is getting drunk quickly, with immediate consequences as well as a hangover (ex., I was drinking at a bar and went home with a rando.) Drankin' is being drunk over extended periods of time, functioning, and making long-term horrible decisions. You won't get kicked out of a bar while drankin', however, you will find yourself having fantasies of a future with Douchenugget #1 after making out with him for a minute and a half. Like I said, horrible decisions.

With the correct alcoholic genes, however, you can decipher the difference between drinking and drankin'. I have, over the past 5 years, learned the difference. So when I see myself hiccup into drankin' land, I take preventative measures.

I love mixed drinks- vodka sodas are my current poison. But when I creep towards drankin', I swap to straight vodka, which I hate. Higher proof? Yes. But I drink waaaay slower. It's all about balance.

You have to know how to balance your life. It is what will keep you sane. Knowing when to stop, when to push forward- incredibly important. Figuring out which investments are worth keeping gets a little foggy, but with any luck, you have good friends who are able to point out when you're making the same mistake a bajillion times in a row, and let you know, "hey, maybe it'd be good for you to, you know, do the opposite of what you always do."

I broke up with J for 48 hours when I saw him in Birmingham. I got spooked, as it has been 6 months, and I flipped a crazy switch. I then proceeded to be miserable, depressed, crying for hours- just a sad sack. I felt like I had simultaneously lost my best friend and ripped out my organs. Yeah, I was the one who did the breaking up, but I was at a complete loss as to what to do. Thankfully, one of my best friends, Ben, was able to point out that this was a normal self-sabotage habit I had developed, and maybe I should try doing anything but what I usually do. So I called J, and apologized. He was good enough to forgive me, and take me back. So now I'm entering a completely new territory for myself: the Long-Term Relationship. Honestly? Scares the ever-loving crap out of me. But he's worth it to me.

Now, if you don't mind, it -is- Cinco de Mayo, and I have gringo drinking to do. ¡Olé!