Monday, May 27, 2013
My shit got jacked!
Heads up, guys- i've been MIA for the moment because my primary means of posting got stolen last Thursday! But have no fear, in my disconnected state, I have been making videos! So, hang out a bit, and if you have any questions, ask! I'll make a video and post the result soooooooon. :)
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Habitual Offender
I have terrible habits. I am not about to deny it. But occasionally, my bad habits lead to really, really good things. Let's start with the obvious: my drinking.
My drinking habit is one i have no intention of stopping. I will cut back on occasion, but I will never quit. Drinking got me some of the best jobs I've ever had and the love of my life- that is way too much positive reinforcement for it to be a truly 'bad' thing. NEXT!
When I am at work, and there is nothing for me to do, I have a tendency to do other things. Things like, job hunt. Not at my main job with Chef, mind you, mostly at the part time gig. It's almost an incessant need to do something, so in one shift alone I sent out 3 resumes and learned beginner italian- thank you, Duolingo.com! I'm starting to practice more intermediate lessons as well. Again, education is a positive, so I will probably continue that. And constant résumé revising has really made me look pretty spiffy, employment-wise.
LASTLY! Following my instincts. I read somewhere that when your body craves something, it's missing whatever nutrients are in whatever you are craving. So, when I want chocolate covered gummi bears, BACK OFF, I NEED THEM. Probably.
Cheers!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
All Grown Up
So! I have been away. Away doing things.
...Grownup things.
That is pretty scary for me, not going to lie. So, here's what happened:
Once upon a time, I went to my local coffee shop. I ordered an iced americano, and proceeded to have a super-productive 20 minutes. I updated a LinkedIn profile I had made two years ago, conducted e-mail business, juggled bills. I was waiting on friends that wouldn't arrive for another hour, so I ordered another iced americano. With an extra shot of espresso, to slow my drinking down.
This is when I learned that their americanos are made with four shots of espresso anyway.
Nine espresso shots later, I was anything but slow. I was VIBRATING INTO THE FUTURE!!!! And damn, it felt amazing/terrifying/weird. Kinda like sex for the first time. I am halfway tempted to try that again, just to see if it gets better the second time around. ;)
Anyway, when I updated my LinkedIn, I ha one of those crazy, clarifying moments that screams, "YOU'RE AN ADULT!"
I qualify for jobs I never thought possible. As in, I have managed to acquire the skill set to potentially be an event director of a major hotel chain here. Or a coordinator in LA. I have OPTIONS. For OPPORTUNITIES. For ADULT JOBS. And it blew my mind. I now feel comfortable and confident expressing that. It is still a bit surreal, but I'll take the advantage.
Tuesday, I'm flooding the job market with a shiny, sexy new resume and we'll see what happens next!
In the meantime, I will continue to temper adulthood with stupid ideas. Like 9 shots of espresso. And vodka. Cheers!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Family Meal
WHAT a week! It's been a trying one, but I'm finally comfortable saying I'm in the clear. Good things!
People say, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." Frankly? That is a load of crap. True, you cannot change your DNA sequence (yet-c'mon, science!), but the theory that blood ties -have- to mean something is outdated and ridiculous to think about.
I mean, really- with all of the nontraditional families out there today, how can one even begin to think that? Adoptions create families. Abuse divides families. And what about foster situations? There is no catch-all family definition. Family is what you create, these days.
On the flipside, that can also mean the opposite is true- sometimes, to have a positive family environment, you have to eliminate peoples' influence as well. I'm not saying literally eliminate people, that's just dumb. However, I recently had to get rid of the man who donated his sperm to my existence in my life. Genetically? Great contribution. As a feeling human being? I would have been better off with a pet rock. This man was barely, if ever, present in my childhood. Once I hit 18, he divorced my mother with little more of an explanation than what we heard from other sources. Once I came to Atlanta, he was a resource for a year-, year and a half-ish while I found my feet. After that, I got a very distinct message that he wouldn't help anymore. So I stopped asking. I learned how to fend for myself. I worked hard, utilized the few lessons he had imparted. And then, when I found myself in a spot of trouble that, for once, I hadn't caused myself- I thought he would help. And he agreed... Before he backed out. Effectively, he lied to me. The way he was behaving? He never intended to help me in he first place. He betrayed me, and for that, I cannot have him in my life anymore. He is no longer welcome here. Why would I willingly include a lying, untrustworthy person who has never really seen fit to respect my mind in my life? I'm not that dumb anymore.
In some respects, it should probably be sad. But how am I supposed to care for a person that, if I met him as a peer, I wouldn't want to be friends with him anyway? You can't ask me to feel bad for feeling indifferent. Especially since I have had more than enough truly paternal male figures in my life to make up for it.
I guess what I'm getting at is, don't ever let yourself feel bullied into a family relationship you aren't comfortable with. Nobody else has lived your life, and they have no right to weigh in on your experiences. Adopt families as you meet them, whether they are your dysfunctional coworkers, or someone you met while looking like your shittiest. The best familial bonds are the ones you actually want to nurture, not the ones you feel obligated to.
People say, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." Frankly? That is a load of crap. True, you cannot change your DNA sequence (yet-c'mon, science!), but the theory that blood ties -have- to mean something is outdated and ridiculous to think about.
I mean, really- with all of the nontraditional families out there today, how can one even begin to think that? Adoptions create families. Abuse divides families. And what about foster situations? There is no catch-all family definition. Family is what you create, these days.
On the flipside, that can also mean the opposite is true- sometimes, to have a positive family environment, you have to eliminate peoples' influence as well. I'm not saying literally eliminate people, that's just dumb. However, I recently had to get rid of the man who donated his sperm to my existence in my life. Genetically? Great contribution. As a feeling human being? I would have been better off with a pet rock. This man was barely, if ever, present in my childhood. Once I hit 18, he divorced my mother with little more of an explanation than what we heard from other sources. Once I came to Atlanta, he was a resource for a year-, year and a half-ish while I found my feet. After that, I got a very distinct message that he wouldn't help anymore. So I stopped asking. I learned how to fend for myself. I worked hard, utilized the few lessons he had imparted. And then, when I found myself in a spot of trouble that, for once, I hadn't caused myself- I thought he would help. And he agreed... Before he backed out. Effectively, he lied to me. The way he was behaving? He never intended to help me in he first place. He betrayed me, and for that, I cannot have him in my life anymore. He is no longer welcome here. Why would I willingly include a lying, untrustworthy person who has never really seen fit to respect my mind in my life? I'm not that dumb anymore.
In some respects, it should probably be sad. But how am I supposed to care for a person that, if I met him as a peer, I wouldn't want to be friends with him anyway? You can't ask me to feel bad for feeling indifferent. Especially since I have had more than enough truly paternal male figures in my life to make up for it.
I guess what I'm getting at is, don't ever let yourself feel bullied into a family relationship you aren't comfortable with. Nobody else has lived your life, and they have no right to weigh in on your experiences. Adopt families as you meet them, whether they are your dysfunctional coworkers, or someone you met while looking like your shittiest. The best familial bonds are the ones you actually want to nurture, not the ones you feel obligated to.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Fairy Tale Eff-Ups
I have an enduring love of the Disney Princess films. Sure, they don't serve as the greatest example for raising strong, independent women all the time, but you can still unintentionally learn from them.
Like Beauty and the Beast- most recently, it has come to my attention that Belle CLEARLY hasn't got any survival instincts. Like, at all. Putting aside her noble trade of her freedom for her fathers', she was -specifically- told to not go into the West Wing by a large, furry beast with big, sharp teeth. So, she proceeds to antagonize and insult him by refusing to eat dinner with him (minus 2 points already!), and then after getting the servants to put on a loud, elaborate dinner show just for her (that surely would have woken him) she then ventures into the West Wing. Personally, the Beast showed remarkable restraint not just eating her right then and there. And then AFTER he saves her life, she has the nerve to tell him to control his temper? Seriously, curse be damned, I would have completely lost it with this twit. But, whatever. Just my observations. So girls, if you find yourself kidnapped, for the love of god, don't antagonize your captor. Play along until you have an opportune moment to escape. Making them mad in real life just winds up with you stuffed in a freezer.
Like Beauty and the Beast- most recently, it has come to my attention that Belle CLEARLY hasn't got any survival instincts. Like, at all. Putting aside her noble trade of her freedom for her fathers', she was -specifically- told to not go into the West Wing by a large, furry beast with big, sharp teeth. So, she proceeds to antagonize and insult him by refusing to eat dinner with him (minus 2 points already!), and then after getting the servants to put on a loud, elaborate dinner show just for her (that surely would have woken him) she then ventures into the West Wing. Personally, the Beast showed remarkable restraint not just eating her right then and there. And then AFTER he saves her life, she has the nerve to tell him to control his temper? Seriously, curse be damned, I would have completely lost it with this twit. But, whatever. Just my observations. So girls, if you find yourself kidnapped, for the love of god, don't antagonize your captor. Play along until you have an opportune moment to escape. Making them mad in real life just winds up with you stuffed in a freezer.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Up In Smoke (hedging on NSFW)
Cigars inspire all kinds of thoughts for me. To date, I have only smoked 2 in my life- one back when I graduated high school, a Swisher Sweet my buddy Josh gave me; and most recently a Henry Clay I acquired. For starters, the Henry Clay is probably the only proper one of the two, but I have fond memories of the Swisher. Second, I know damn near nothing about cigars. Like for instance, are they supposed to make you feel high? Because holy crap, the Henry made me feel fucking amazing. Not something I'll do on a regular basis, but I can see why new dads were traditionally given one as a congratulatory deal- it chilled me the crap out.
However, the whole practice raises other questions. Mainly, cigars are supposed to be this whole macho deal, right? Smoked by manly men from the Godfather to Winston Churchill, right? Well, do guys get that it is exceptionally phallic-looking? Guys who would otherwise be happily homophobic can be found sucking happily on (sorry, Mom!) the equivalent of a dick. You can't even justify it as compensation for what a man may or may not have lurking in his trousers. After all, what straight male would suck on something that reminds him of his package?
On the flip side, why don't women smoke more cigars? Many of my more open, liberal friends will admit to enjoy going down on guys. Well, why wouldn't they get similar enjoyment from cigars? I mean, to be frank, the sensation is way more enjoyable and WAY less messy. Doesn't make aaaany sense to me. Yeah, this is the crap I think about.
However, the whole practice raises other questions. Mainly, cigars are supposed to be this whole macho deal, right? Smoked by manly men from the Godfather to Winston Churchill, right? Well, do guys get that it is exceptionally phallic-looking? Guys who would otherwise be happily homophobic can be found sucking happily on (sorry, Mom!) the equivalent of a dick. You can't even justify it as compensation for what a man may or may not have lurking in his trousers. After all, what straight male would suck on something that reminds him of his package?
On the flip side, why don't women smoke more cigars? Many of my more open, liberal friends will admit to enjoy going down on guys. Well, why wouldn't they get similar enjoyment from cigars? I mean, to be frank, the sensation is way more enjoyable and WAY less messy. Doesn't make aaaany sense to me. Yeah, this is the crap I think about.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Sure, Why Not?
I want to get a tattoo. I have many, but I want to get a few more. The next one I have planned? Simple script, emblazoned down my outer forearm; that reads, "Sure, Why Not?" J is a bit reticent about that one. He's never cared about my tattoos, but this one seems to be a bit 'out there' for him. I'm not sure he realizes just how significant this will be for me.
Decisions are a major part of everyone's life. They create us and our future trajectory. Many can also be mistakes. I have made many, many decisions. A lot could be called mistakes as well. However, for a few years I have made "Sure, why not?" a large part of my life. Consequently, I have done a lot of stupid shit. But I don't regret any of it.
See, at the very least, I will be able to live without regrets because I have tried all kinds of ideas- good ones, bad ones, good ideas that made me miserable, etc. I will never have the opportunity to wonder, "what if?" because I already did it. Opportunities fall at me because people know I'm willing to try something at least twice.
On the flip side, doing all of the dumb things will ultimately make me a better parent. All of the big talks are going to be crazy-awkward, yeah, but I will have first-hand experience of the consequences that I can fill my future kids in on so if they go off and do it anyway, they got an informed warning.
So my tattoo will be more than a tattoo. It will be memories, opportunities, and warnings. And most of all, it will be a reminder to me to stay open-minded, and try everything at least twice. Cheers!
Decisions are a major part of everyone's life. They create us and our future trajectory. Many can also be mistakes. I have made many, many decisions. A lot could be called mistakes as well. However, for a few years I have made "Sure, why not?" a large part of my life. Consequently, I have done a lot of stupid shit. But I don't regret any of it.
See, at the very least, I will be able to live without regrets because I have tried all kinds of ideas- good ones, bad ones, good ideas that made me miserable, etc. I will never have the opportunity to wonder, "what if?" because I already did it. Opportunities fall at me because people know I'm willing to try something at least twice.
On the flip side, doing all of the dumb things will ultimately make me a better parent. All of the big talks are going to be crazy-awkward, yeah, but I will have first-hand experience of the consequences that I can fill my future kids in on so if they go off and do it anyway, they got an informed warning.
So my tattoo will be more than a tattoo. It will be memories, opportunities, and warnings. And most of all, it will be a reminder to me to stay open-minded, and try everything at least twice. Cheers!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Party for Life!
It's probably a symptom of being in my mid-twenties, but I have been feeling restless. Again. It's getting aggravating, but I think I've finally figured out why.
Predominately, I am a bossy know-it-all that likes to throw parties. I get a rush from conceptualizing, planning, and executing events. I have thought, for the longest time, that I needed to stay in kitchens because that was all I thought I knew how to do. How refreshing to discover otherwise recently! I was recently hired as a manager of a VIP tent at a festival I have worked with for the past 3 years. Before, I worked with this festival as a pet project, something I enjoyed volunteering for and got a sense of accomplishment from every year. At my prior retail job, a large part of my position was also event coordination. For whatever reason, it is only just now occurring to me that maybe, just maybe, I should work in event planning. And, much to my surprise, my years in restaurants will actually be an asset. I called a respected events company here in Atlanta today to inquire about any job positions available. The woman I spoke with asked if I was looking for a particular position, and I mentioned I was looking at event planning- making sure to add I had spent 2-3 cumulative years with pertinent event experience, as well as 8-9 cumulative years of hospitality experience. At that, she perked up an asked me to e-mail her a resume.
I know that isn't a guarantee of anything. However, just the knowledge that I could be qualified, and actually have a new, more exciting opportunity on the horizon is a nice adrenaline boost! And even if I don't get into this company, there are many other smaller companies I could probably weasel into. Knowledge of options feels so freeing!
Don't get me wrong, I adore the restaurant industry and the camaraderie that goes along with kitchen work, but I have never wanted to spend years of my life in a physically taxing environment. And one day, I want to have kids- how could I possibly raise them while slaving on a hot line? I still want to own a bar, but I don't want to be the one doing the menial, mind-numbing prep tasks. Event coordination seems like it would be a more ideal situation. Can't hurt to try, at least!
Predominately, I am a bossy know-it-all that likes to throw parties. I get a rush from conceptualizing, planning, and executing events. I have thought, for the longest time, that I needed to stay in kitchens because that was all I thought I knew how to do. How refreshing to discover otherwise recently! I was recently hired as a manager of a VIP tent at a festival I have worked with for the past 3 years. Before, I worked with this festival as a pet project, something I enjoyed volunteering for and got a sense of accomplishment from every year. At my prior retail job, a large part of my position was also event coordination. For whatever reason, it is only just now occurring to me that maybe, just maybe, I should work in event planning. And, much to my surprise, my years in restaurants will actually be an asset. I called a respected events company here in Atlanta today to inquire about any job positions available. The woman I spoke with asked if I was looking for a particular position, and I mentioned I was looking at event planning- making sure to add I had spent 2-3 cumulative years with pertinent event experience, as well as 8-9 cumulative years of hospitality experience. At that, she perked up an asked me to e-mail her a resume.
I know that isn't a guarantee of anything. However, just the knowledge that I could be qualified, and actually have a new, more exciting opportunity on the horizon is a nice adrenaline boost! And even if I don't get into this company, there are many other smaller companies I could probably weasel into. Knowledge of options feels so freeing!
Don't get me wrong, I adore the restaurant industry and the camaraderie that goes along with kitchen work, but I have never wanted to spend years of my life in a physically taxing environment. And one day, I want to have kids- how could I possibly raise them while slaving on a hot line? I still want to own a bar, but I don't want to be the one doing the menial, mind-numbing prep tasks. Event coordination seems like it would be a more ideal situation. Can't hurt to try, at least!
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Glassful
Well I've been away longer than I like! Had a rough couple of days after I got back from Birmingham, but managed to get back to where I need to be! More on that later, but first, an important lesson!
How I slow myself down whilst draaaaankin':
First off, drankin is not drinking. By a long shot. Drinking is getting drunk quickly, with immediate consequences as well as a hangover (ex., I was drinking at a bar and went home with a rando.) Drankin' is being drunk over extended periods of time, functioning, and making long-term horrible decisions. You won't get kicked out of a bar while drankin', however, you will find yourself having fantasies of a future with Douchenugget #1 after making out with him for a minute and a half. Like I said, horrible decisions.
With the correct alcoholic genes, however, you can decipher the difference between drinking and drankin'. I have, over the past 5 years, learned the difference. So when I see myself hiccup into drankin' land, I take preventative measures.
I love mixed drinks- vodka sodas are my current poison. But when I creep towards drankin', I swap to straight vodka, which I hate. Higher proof? Yes. But I drink waaaay slower. It's all about balance.
You have to know how to balance your life. It is what will keep you sane. Knowing when to stop, when to push forward- incredibly important. Figuring out which investments are worth keeping gets a little foggy, but with any luck, you have good friends who are able to point out when you're making the same mistake a bajillion times in a row, and let you know, "hey, maybe it'd be good for you to, you know, do the opposite of what you always do."
I broke up with J for 48 hours when I saw him in Birmingham. I got spooked, as it has been 6 months, and I flipped a crazy switch. I then proceeded to be miserable, depressed, crying for hours- just a sad sack. I felt like I had simultaneously lost my best friend and ripped out my organs. Yeah, I was the one who did the breaking up, but I was at a complete loss as to what to do. Thankfully, one of my best friends, Ben, was able to point out that this was a normal self-sabotage habit I had developed, and maybe I should try doing anything but what I usually do. So I called J, and apologized. He was good enough to forgive me, and take me back. So now I'm entering a completely new territory for myself: the Long-Term Relationship. Honestly? Scares the ever-loving crap out of me. But he's worth it to me.
Now, if you don't mind, it -is- Cinco de Mayo, and I have gringo drinking to do. ¡Olé!
How I slow myself down whilst draaaaankin':
First off, drankin is not drinking. By a long shot. Drinking is getting drunk quickly, with immediate consequences as well as a hangover (ex., I was drinking at a bar and went home with a rando.) Drankin' is being drunk over extended periods of time, functioning, and making long-term horrible decisions. You won't get kicked out of a bar while drankin', however, you will find yourself having fantasies of a future with Douchenugget #1 after making out with him for a minute and a half. Like I said, horrible decisions.
With the correct alcoholic genes, however, you can decipher the difference between drinking and drankin'. I have, over the past 5 years, learned the difference. So when I see myself hiccup into drankin' land, I take preventative measures.
I love mixed drinks- vodka sodas are my current poison. But when I creep towards drankin', I swap to straight vodka, which I hate. Higher proof? Yes. But I drink waaaay slower. It's all about balance.
You have to know how to balance your life. It is what will keep you sane. Knowing when to stop, when to push forward- incredibly important. Figuring out which investments are worth keeping gets a little foggy, but with any luck, you have good friends who are able to point out when you're making the same mistake a bajillion times in a row, and let you know, "hey, maybe it'd be good for you to, you know, do the opposite of what you always do."
I broke up with J for 48 hours when I saw him in Birmingham. I got spooked, as it has been 6 months, and I flipped a crazy switch. I then proceeded to be miserable, depressed, crying for hours- just a sad sack. I felt like I had simultaneously lost my best friend and ripped out my organs. Yeah, I was the one who did the breaking up, but I was at a complete loss as to what to do. Thankfully, one of my best friends, Ben, was able to point out that this was a normal self-sabotage habit I had developed, and maybe I should try doing anything but what I usually do. So I called J, and apologized. He was good enough to forgive me, and take me back. So now I'm entering a completely new territory for myself: the Long-Term Relationship. Honestly? Scares the ever-loving crap out of me. But he's worth it to me.
Now, if you don't mind, it -is- Cinco de Mayo, and I have gringo drinking to do. ¡Olé!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Paint me a Birmingham..
I am in Birmingham, AL, today.
I came with the intention of surprising J today. Thankfully, my big mouth told him about it... On Monday. Which allowed him the opportunity to let me know he was too busy to see me. And left me with bus tickets to and from Alabama, that my drunk ass bought. Funny, no? I was half-expecting it, I have this kind of luck with surprises. So I said fuck it and took the trip anyway.
I gotta say, it has exceeded my expectations! Though I have been drinking most of the day. I got to see a good friend of mine, old coworkers, and chill in a hot tub for a bit! For the record, if you are traveling in the south, stay at Drury Inns and Suites- they have 5:30pm "kickbacks", which entails 3 free alcoholic beverages and free food from 5:30-7. Kicked. Ass.
I did also do a smidge of touristy stuff earlier- I checked out The Vulcan, a Birmingham landmark that is perched on a mountain where you get a magnificent view of the city. It was a cool stop- the statue is massive, and only wears an apron and sandals, so it moons the next town over.
I'm checking out Ona's Music Room now- a jazz club downtown. Live music, and a nice, dark atmosphere. Private, quiet, and just the kind of music to keep my crazy to a minimum. I already recommend it, and the band hasn't even started yet! Cheers, lovelies!
Ona's- http://www.onasmusicroom.com
I came with the intention of surprising J today. Thankfully, my big mouth told him about it... On Monday. Which allowed him the opportunity to let me know he was too busy to see me. And left me with bus tickets to and from Alabama, that my drunk ass bought. Funny, no? I was half-expecting it, I have this kind of luck with surprises. So I said fuck it and took the trip anyway.
I gotta say, it has exceeded my expectations! Though I have been drinking most of the day. I got to see a good friend of mine, old coworkers, and chill in a hot tub for a bit! For the record, if you are traveling in the south, stay at Drury Inns and Suites- they have 5:30pm "kickbacks", which entails 3 free alcoholic beverages and free food from 5:30-7. Kicked. Ass.
I did also do a smidge of touristy stuff earlier- I checked out The Vulcan, a Birmingham landmark that is perched on a mountain where you get a magnificent view of the city. It was a cool stop- the statue is massive, and only wears an apron and sandals, so it moons the next town over.
I'm checking out Ona's Music Room now- a jazz club downtown. Live music, and a nice, dark atmosphere. Private, quiet, and just the kind of music to keep my crazy to a minimum. I already recommend it, and the band hasn't even started yet! Cheers, lovelies!
Ona's- http://www.onasmusicroom.com
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