Season of Giving

Living in a van, one of my biggest concerns is the cops. Many towns have ordinances against sleeping in vehicles, and I try to base where I camp in areas that don't have those, or at least have loopholes (Wal-Mart lots are convenient for that). Small towns especially tend to have bored cops, and I have yet to meet a member of the police forces that doesn't err on the side of dickbaggery when bored.

I've been playing it safe lately, keeping it at the restaurant I work at (with the owner's permission), with zero fuss. The neighbors either haven't noticed or don't care, and it's been very peaceful.

This morning was a tad different.

I awoke, curled under my comforter, warm and cozy and pantsless (my van, my rules dammit). My dog, Clooney, was sitting next to me, just staring and willing me to wake up for our walk. Mentally swearing at him, I begin to contemplate actually getting out of bed.

And there's a knock on the van door.

I immediately begin to mentally freak. It's 8am, it has to be the cops, but why would they be here? It's private property, the owner knows I'm here and I have permission and Jesus Christ I'll just pretend I'm not here.

The damn dog barks. Fuck.

Now I HAVE to answer, or some do-gooder animal lover will break into my car citing animal cruelty against this fat spoiled fur ball. I say as nonchalantly as possible, "Just a minute!"

Hiking on a pair of sweatpants, I climb up to the passenger cab door- the side doors don't open from the inside at the moment. Opening the door, my panic immediately washes to relief when I see it's a local that I've met before, when I was hanging with the Barista. And he recognized me.

His surprise was very apparent, and we had a slightly strained conversation. Not in a bad way, but you could kind of tell he wasn't expecting to see someone he had met as a functional human being living in a van. Turns out he's one of my neighbors, just a couple doors away, and he was kind enough to leave me with a bag of odds and ends foodstuffs and an invitation to coffee or tea should I ever feel like it.

Encounters like that are weird for me. On the one hand, I haven't exactly made it very public that I live in a van around town. I want to be known as a person before I'm known for my circumstances. But it is a small town, and I can't be surprised that people will put two and two together. And some will immediately conclude that I may require charity. My pride is intensely uncomfortable with that. I ask favors from friends that I know I will repay in time, I have a running tally in my head of the myriad of people I owe. However, kindness that is intended without reciprocation is just fucking weird to me. After all, I am always the one who makes things happen, I help others. I can't let this insult me, regardless of my vanity. After all, my brain keeps reminding me, "Bitch, you live in a van. Deal with it."

...Not sure how my neighbor expects me to cook a baby pumpkin in a van, though. Bless his heart. :)

Humanist Rant

I was elated. I hopped out of the Schwartz,  the battered old piece of shit van that it is, and squealed for joy. *I* had just fixed a major wiring problem!  All by myself!  (Ok, sure, a wire had just jiggled loose and I reconnected it, but considering that one wire controlled everything electronic in the thing, starter motor included? I am fucking proud of that!) I had parked outside of work, and was about to warn the owner that the van was staying put for a few days until I was able to take it to a repair shop next Tuesday.  One of the bartenders saw me first.

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed, clearly shocked, "You're a girl!"

"Last time I checked!" I am wearing a skirt and knee-high black boots today with a flattering turtleneck sweater. Not the usual jeans-tshirt-apron-bandanna look he was used to.

"Are you sick? On the run? Do you need an alibi?"

Sigh.

That one little convo has been repeated in my life more than anything should be. It has only recently began to bother me because frankly, after 11 years' in this industry,  why is it still surprising? 

I recently read 'Blood, Bones, and Butter' by Chef Gabrielle Hamilton, and finally found a chef I can relate to out of the countless memoirs I've read. She, like myself, got into this industry by accident. She, like myself, has stayed because we don't know how to really do anything else  (well, she's an amazing writer, but she's also got a few years on me. Lucky her.). And she,  much like  myself, could not figure out why in the fuck being a woman in commercial kitchens is still a discussion point.

It dawned on me today, and this spans all industries,  that people have ceased to discern the difference between People and Careers. Van living has driven home a personal belief of mine that I do not ultimately want to be defined by my Career, but by how I have lived. The trouble with this, however, is I am constantly being evaluated by my feild of work. I am a Cook. I am a Server. I am a Beer Store Clerk. I am a Manager. I am a Chef.

No.

I am a Human Being. You are a Human Being. Everyone is a Human Being.

Yes, certain stereotypes can be made in various career feilds. However, at the end of the day, if I choose to wear skirts and pick flowers or do other girly shit, it is because I AM A HUMAN BEING THAT ENJOYS THOSE THINGS. I am an accidental chef out of a passion for food and a decent dose of spite acquired by working in the industry. The discussion should not be, "How has being a woman in ex-and-such feild affected the status quo", and it definitely shouldn't be a pissing contest between genders. The discussion needs to be, "As a human being, are you capable of the work, and do you enjoy it?" Otherwise, it opens the door for overblown Michelin-starred assholes to discredit an entire portion of the workforce (I'm not bothering to link that article because frankly, fuck that guy) and for shit like GamerGate to be a thing (Google it if you want to lose your faith in people entirely ).

I am a chef. I am also a girl, a friend, a lover, a collegue, a bit obscene, and polite to people whom I respect. I will continue to live exactly as I deem fit, career be damned. And I hope, for all that is right in the world, People figure out that They are worth far more than whatever price their Career has assigned them.

Chopped

I fucking called it.

No good comes from a position unintentionally given.

I found out tonight that the restaurant owners rehired not only their old chef back, but the entire old kitchen staff. All of whom walked out on them the first time around.

I am not about to play this game. I am so sick and tired of working for restaurants that are run by idiots. The few restaurants where I actually respected the management are all located in states I have no desire to live in, and frankly this is the last straw I had for cooking professionally.

I am staying long enough to find employment ANYWHERE else doing ANYTHING else. My knives are only coming out for people I actually like. I am too old to be bothering with this nonsense when I've seen enough places fail because of stupidity.

Mt. Everest

I am insane. That is the only explanation. Tomorrow is my last day at the brewpub I was farting around at, and Saturday is my first full day as "chef".

Literally.

Full day.

As in, today being my first day off training, and knowing that we are losing a cook at the new job Sunday, I took it upon myself to make a first draft of the schedule for next week.

I also learned today that the restaurant owners are Nepalese Sherpas. That have climbed Everest. Twice.

You know what else I learned? In order for my schedule to be what any other businesses consider normal full time, I need 2 more cooks. Otherwise? I am looking at.... oh, 70+ hours a week. I'm scheduled to come in at 3 on Saturday. For us to be properly prepared? I am getting my ass in there at least at 1pm. Probably earlier. I will have to be Nepalese Sherpa strong for the next few weeks. Now, on the plus side, I will be making goddamn bank. But there is being prepared for something, and then being pummeled with reality. Can I do this? Absolutely. No problem. Without question. Will I be OK?

...Well, right now I'm just going to relish the serenity of this quiet night, and silently apologize to my body and liver for the hell it is about to endure.

Yes, Chef?

So I've found myself in the increasingly odd position of being hired as an executive chef for a sports bar. Made odder by the fact that the restaurant itself was advertising a line cook position on Craigslist (Two major red flags right there by any sane person's standards). On the one hand, I'm excited for the opportunity. Haven't done this before! On the other hand, I've read too much Anthony Bourdain. This can only end in tears. What am I thinking??? I know I am a solid line cook with a palate that has potential. But as for a full-blown, calling the shots chef? I can imagine it, maybe, when I hit my thirties. But right now I am a mid-twenties homeless ball o' nuts trying to sort myself out.

I took the job, of course, because I need to be able to survive California cost of living. Will this be a good thing? Eeeeeh... remains to be seen. Personally, I am uncharacteristically pessimistic about it. I've been in the industry too long and seen too many fuckups to kid myself. But at the same time, that goddamned little optimist in the back of my head that prevents me from being a total bitter cynic is rooting for a decent outcome. She's a bit of an idiot. It will be a learning experience, for sure. And after some of the "chefs" I've worked for? Well, I can't possibly fuck up *THAT* bad.

California Dreaming

I can't remember the last time I've been so consistently happy. Wine country is doing wonders for my general outlook! I've always been an optimist, but here? It's almost annoying, even for me! Hahaha~

The Barista has been an amazing friend to me. He has been keeping me incredibly grounded, reminding me of what I'm doing here, even though he doesn't realize it. He and I have been cooking a LOT together, too! He's not as intense of a food nerd as I am, but he actually seems to enjoy listening to me yammer on about eggs and salt and nonsense. Yesterday we even made kimchi together! I'll post our recipe in a few days when fermentation kicks in and it's ready.

Also happening in a few days! I've been writing a YouTube series, and finally found what I find to be an acceptable place to film. It's going to be all about food science and history, and I can't wait to show you all what it's all about! It's been a blast to work on!

Commute

When we last left your heroine (me), I was on the cusp of a major freak out in the Schwartz.  Since then, I have adjusted way better to a nomadic life, and as of yesterday,  finally unpacked my books in it to really organize and make it "home"!

The adjustment process was definitely weird for me. I found myself trying to be more social, and making more time to spend wih the Barista and an old friend from my Maine days that happens to be in Petaluma for the month. I did kind of revert to my old workaholic ways, but to a lesser degree han what it was. Currently,  I have a full-time job cooking at a brewpub in Healdsburg, and then when I'm not doing that, i drive an hour and a half souh to San Francisco where I work on a food truck. So while technically,  I am scheduled to work 7 days a week,  that really hasn't been happening. The food truck pays better, and will have some excellent potential benefits involved, but at the moment is far too inconsistent and iffy for me to commit to it. Like this week- I was supposed to work last night and today. I was told not to bother, business was too slow. So on the one hand, I have gotten to spend more time with my friends in Mountain View, and got some serious work done on a pet project of mine (more on that in a bit!), but I have lost out on a significant chunk of change that I could really use at the moment. However, it's not worth it to quit the food truck and find a more dedicated gig, because on Friday night, they are letting me work an event serving a country artist I am a huge fan of! Besides, this surprise time off is great for my mental health right now. Really focusing on me and forcing myself to deal with some things I have been avoiding is making me feel like I'm finally really growing into myself.

Now, as for that lovely pet project... I'm not going to really go into details until I have solid *stuff* to show off. Just know that it is everything I love about being a food nerd, and writing for it has energized me in a way I haven't felt in yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaars. Look for something... mmmm... next week. Pretty confident I'll have something to show for this silliness. :)

May the Schwartz Be Witcha!

My nomadic existence has become very very official!  Last night was the first night I spent in my new old van. She has been dubbed "The Schwartz", as she is such an old bucket of bolts she reminds me of the movie Spaceballs. The Schwartz is a 1990 Ford Econoline 150, with a scant 90k miles on her and an inability to reach speeds over 85mph. Frankly, I'm terrified to try and take her above 65, so my mom should be ecstatic about that. She is a tragically beautiful garbage heap of a van, with a very retro pale horrendous pink interior. My dog, Clooney, saw fit to baptize her by vomiting on the bench/bed where I sleep. Seemed appropriate.

Vomit cleaned, I proceeded to collect supplies for the actual act of living in this thing. I am truly Macguyver- I have created a campstove out of sterno pods and shit collected at Goodwill. So, I am lucky enough to be able to make hot water for my crap instant coffee and ramen! It's an exciting prospect.  Really,  the only thing I really wish I had in here right now is booze. Or other substances that happen to be medically abundant in the great state of California.  Because dude, even with my dog, sleeping in this thing is fucking surreal.

There's just this intense, isolating feeling going out alone. I finally have no real responsibilities, and I can run away from everything whenever I so desire. And that is awesome. But, at the same time, these nights when I don't have people to visit? Makes it that much lonelier. Clooney is a shitty conversationalist, and sleeps through half my rants anyway. I'd text or phone more, but the discovery that the Schwartz's electrical system isn't fully hooked up to support my car charger has made my phone that much more of a specialty resource. All there is to do once the sun sets is wait for sleep, and with my mind going a million miles a minute, it is waaaaay more difficult to do without chemical assistance. All of my wine is currently taking up a small bit of real estate in my new friend's (the Barista) garage to prevent temperature damage during my travels. Which is a great thing, I cannot thank him enough, but goddamn I could really use a drink.

...Hm. Apparently I just broke the back passenger door lock, permanently locking it. This keeps getting better!  :D

Small-Town State of Mind

I spent my formative years in a small town. And frankly? I fucking hated it. Maine winters, mosquito-ridden summers, stagnant grumpy old farts that had never seen the state border... it was my personal hell. And the second I could wrangle it? I took off running for Atlanta.  Which really makes my newfound adoration for Cloverdale, CA, really weird for me.

As far as small towns go, Cloverdale is on the medium-dinky side. The majority of the businesses can be found on Cloverdale Blvd, and they only have two coffee shops- Starbucks and a local place named Plank. I,  by virtue of little gas and less gas money, managed to get stuck here for the past 3 days after my internship.  And I can honestly say, despite my initial panic, this is easily the best thing that could have happened. My faith in strangers was renewed when an exceptionally kind barista took me in and let me crash at his place these past few nights. I was forced to take a break and stop "making it happen!", which I have been doing my whole life. I finally gave myself some closure on some past flings. It's been great. Instead of forcing my agenda on life, I let it have it's way with me for a few days, and I have never been so relaxed. It's even rubbing off on my dog! I have never seen Clooney so well-behaved as he has been here. He adores this place.

I really don't know where I will end up in the next week or so. I have a lot of opportunities opening up.  But honestly?  If I continue to be stuck here? I don't think I'd mind too much. Responsibly irresponsible has been a great state of being! And, dude- I got to play in the Russian River! How awesome is that??

Putting a Little Age On It

So I've been lucky enough to play tourist the past day and a half! My job at this first winery is winding down, so I got some time off to check out some tasting rooms and explore the Sonoma Coast and parts of Napa. I hit 7 different tasting rooms and wineries- Rosenblum, Portalupi, J, A. Rafanelli, Gustafson, Chateau Montelena, and Medlock Ames. It. Was. A. Blast! I got to see so much of wine country,  and meet some really cool people. My favorite wines so far have come from Gustafson.  Their vineyard is located just down the mountain from where I'm working now, and their tasting room was across the street from my new favorite seafood joint in Healdsburg. They had an incredible late harvest zinfandel that was just pruney, raisiny, and rich.

Seeing Chateau Montelena was pretty amazing, too. Half the reason I tried getting a wine internship is because I am in love with the movie 'Bottleshock', and their wines did not disappoint. I was, however, caught off guard by how much better their reds were than their whites. The cabernets they were showing had this excellent richness of character that's only going to improve with age.

Thanks to my new favorite phrase ("industry discount"), I have accidentally started a wine cellar for myself. The girl who previously could barely keep a 12pack of beer in her fridge is now the proud owner of 16 bottles of wine. I am intending on giving some away, but I am still hanging on to a majority. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I love the idea of having wine on hand, but I'm not going to have time to drink any of it until maaaaaaybe November. And by hen, I'll probably have more collected. It's strange to consider. A mere month ago, I was reticent to spend even $20 on a bottle. Now that I'm in the thick of things, I almost want to take out an insurance policy on what I've accrued thus far- and I wouldn't even call this an impressive start, based on what I saw other guests buying.
Though I ought to cut myself some slack- I may be the youngest adult for 100+ miles. Everyone else I've seen around has at the very least a decade on me, if not a solid 30 years. I've been ok with that,  I usually run with a more mature crowd, but it does make me feel a bit more disconnected from everything. And not having anyone to flirt with? I've never felt more like a nun. Lord. :p

Rambling Woman

I have had wanderlust as long as I can remember. This trip has really been a great way to scratch the itch! And it occurred to me that, being young and reckless, I don't really have to have it end just yet. I want to stay in California, for sure, but I don't want to commit to an apartment quite yet. Not until I have a secure job, you know? And even then, I want time to kind of ease in, test the waters, save some money...

So I'm buying a conversion van.

The first vehicle I have owned in years, this van is going to be the ultimate symbol of this year for me, and the freedom and adventure I've been searching for forever. It's a 1990 Dodge Ram van 2500, in shockingly good condition. And it is going to effectively be home for me for at least a month or more, while I get the whole "responsible adult" thing figured out. I'm honestly pretty excited about it. I want to hang on the coast? Done. Feel like taking a mountain getaway? Home's where I hit my E brake! It'll be an adjustment,  for sure, but I'd rather just pay for gas and insurance than overpriced rents until I can afford it. I am going to try to convert it into as much of an rv as possible, to make life a bit easier, but otherwise I'm just going to take things by ear and make it work. It's Adventure Time, bitches!

Along this same wanderlust craving, I seem to have hooked myself a follow-up internship to this current one. It'll take me from the Sonoma Coast to the Napa Valley. It is a fantastic opportunity, and I am supremely grateful,  but at the same time, I am finding this hilarious. The time I am putting in at these wineries is very reminiscent of my days in culinary school, where I had no plans or desire to follow the career path- I distinctly remember my classmates asking why I was wasting my and everyone else's time. I have an idea of why I'm doing this now- and it's certainly not for any decent reasoning.  But ultimately? All I want is to have fun. This life path is just full of nonsense, hilarity, and a healthy dose of spite. This seems to be covering my bases for now.

Wonder Woman

For the first time in over a week, I didn't have to be awake at the ass-crack of dawn to lug tons and tons (literally) of grapes. I got to... **gasp!** ...sleep in! It's an exciting prospect for me.

This vineyard has been such a...strange turning point for my life. All positive experiences, for sure, but it has really made me stop and reexamine so much about everything I've done up to this point. The weirdest bit has been the fact that, every step I take in this vineyard, or in the quaint little towns nearby, are all so very very reminiscent of times and places I thought I had left behind long ago. It's like, I know I'm in northern California. But I drive to Healdsburg to shop, and I'm back in Brunswick, ME. I walk in the cabins up in the vineyards and I'm revisiting Asheville, TN, during Thanksgiving 2012. I drive the roads up the mountain and I'm back in the north Georgia mountains, just back in July. It's so bittersweet. All of those beautiful memories,  but they feel like they are cluttering the way for the newer, amazing memories I'm creating now. Especially as I have been turning into the woman I've been wanting to be ever since I got here.

I've been told for a while that I am a strong,  independent young woman. Which was fine and dandy. But I'm only now feeling like I've got a backbone. When I got to California,  I swore I was done being what I saw as a weak woman. And I've been kicking ass at it. I've negotiated a higher pay rate for myself at the winery, and when interviewing for jobs, I maintained a "take - no - prisoners" attitude, both for my job title and desired pay rate. And it's been paying off in spades. It's like, the knowledge that I don't have a reputation here has made me fearless. It's what I've been needing.  It has also made me take a good, hard look at what I'm doing,  though, and what makes me happy.  I have a very good idea of it now. It was a smidge surprising,  but ultimately I am sure it will work out in the end.

Beso, caro~ ♥

Reflections on the Farm

Oh I was so right. Since my arrival, I have been aching continuously. Now, in some respects everything is getting easier. But once the muscle fatigue faded, shin splints and weak shitty ankles kicked in. It's not so bad, though. I'll be able to benchpress a horse in a couple of weeks thanks to this grape-hauling nonsense!

I can't get over how amazing this place is. The mountains,  beyond just mind-blowingly gorgeous, are so... full. I have never seen so much wild life! There is a plethora of apple and pear trees here on the vineyard, scattered across the property, and blackberries run rampant next to the cabin. Which is also painfully rustic and adorable and far more functional than 90% of the apartments I've lived in. Then there's the animals- deer are EVERYWHERE. I even saw feral domestic pigs! Apparently a farmer lost his pigs a couple decades back and they now just roam. Rabbits, fox, quail- I have never hunted before in my life, and I have never wanted to more than I do up here.
Going into town is fun, too. The roads are all old graded logging roads, and they twist and curve around the mountains and Lake Sonoma, giving you incredible views from every angle. And once you become familiar enough with the roads to actually do the speed limit, the drive makes you feel like you're in one if those picturesque car commercials.

I really haven't been doing much wine making, just picking and cheffing, and I'm pretty ok with that. I get a great workout, both in body and in culinary chops I haven't done in a while. And for the most appreciative people! Apparently the biggest difference between east coast and west coast cooking is that east coasters are more concerned with it being a competition between restaurants,  and here people are just happy to eat. It's a great feeling!

Forays into Viticulture

Ever felt like you've gotten into a dick-punching contest with Murphy's Law? That could very easily sum up my trip thus far. Getting out to California became the single most aggravating task I have ever brought upon myself. Long driving hours, heartbreak, desert, storms, sunburns, broken promises- you name it, it happened. However, I am lucky enough to have a handful of the most supportive, caring, sympathetic friends a girl could ever ask for- they helped me back up when I was sobbing in a shitty motel on I-5, and I will never forget that.

As it stands, there is extremely limited time and access to the Internet in order to post everything.  So, posts are going to wind up being clustered together and dated, like so...

9/5, late-night

I finally made it to the vineyard! Drove into the winery about 10pm, met some of the crew, and immediately got put to work sorting grapes. It was a great change of pace from driving all day! What we were doing was examining grapes that had picked earlier that day and were on the conveyor belt headed to a machine that destemmed and filtered out grapes that were too small. It was up to human intervention to filter out leaves, unripe or rotten grapes, and raisins. I felt a bit like Lucy Ricardo on 'I Love Lucy' sorting bon bons. I tried a couple grapes, and they were incredible- sweet and softly  supple. They were pinot noir, the specialty of this vineyard.
Heading to the vineyard itself, where I am staying,  is about an hour and a half away from the winery and up a mountain. Because of my laaaaate arrival, I couldn't really see any of the drive up- just enough to realize that the dividing lines are just guidelines up here instead of steadfast law. :)

9/6

Day one! We woke up at 5:30 am to begin picking. During the harvest,  I was given the job of runner- while the regular workers picked, I'd go around and exchange full bins for empty ones. I knew I was going to be hurting later 2min into the job- full bins weigh 45-50lbs each! We spent a solid two, two and a half hours picking in the early morning fog. Grapes are best picked in the early morning before the sun hits- it helps preserve the flavors in the skins.
After picking, we returned to the winery. Here, I parted to start the second half of my job here- as chef! I headed to the next town over, Healdsburg,  to begin shopping for dinner supplies for the next few days.  I was also given the best news any chef can get: "You have an unlimited food budget. Feed us, and feed us well." The freedom that allows me? Incredible! I tore through the store with abandon, picking up fresh butchered meats and screamingly in season produce. I had decided to make the first night's dinner a taco night, to ease into things a bit and guage how my cooking would be recieved.
Taco night turned out well enough, I mistimed a few things and had to improvise a bit; but meeting everyone was a lot of fun and I got to witness a cool wine aficionado game they play every night- Guess the Wine. We do a blind tasting of two bottles, one white and one red, and we try to guess the grape varietal, the area of origin, the vintage, and the producer. It is a reallt educational experience!
We returned to the winery late that night to catch a few z's before returning to the fields early the next morning.  I remember hitting the sack and having some of the sweetest dreams I've had in years. This is easily one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Regrounded

I'm technically in the middle of my move. I no longer have an address, but I'm not quite headed to California just yet. I took a pit stop at Intervention, an internet convention in Rockville, MD (http://WWW.interventioncon.com). I've been going to this convention for years, unfortunately missing last year due to work. And holy shit, I needed this weekend! It was an honest intervention in every sense for me.

The stress over the past few weeks has rattled me more than I had realized. I have been a needy, clinging, desperate version of myself that I haven't been since high school. And then I came here, and it felt like home. I still have a pile of responsibilities I need to sort out, but being here? Seeing familiar faces, reminding myself of the person I grew into over the years- it's like I've refreshed as a person. I am not the depressed twit that left Atlanta with shame and tears. I am a stubborn, crass, sweet hellion with the best intentions and the some of the worst jokes. I am going to California to kick ass, make wine, and cook hard. I will be responsible and refuse to grow up. I'm a series of contradictions, and I am so happy I got reminded of that before I lost myself entirely.

I'm making a cocktail to celebrate the occasion. I'm probably going to make it with a sparkling sake base- clean, effervescent, and one of the first alcohols I figured out I enjoyed in Atlanta. Seems appropriate for a new beginning!

"Grounded in the Desert"
Served in a champagne flute

2 parts sparkling sake
1 part St George's Terroir Gin
Dash of angostura bitters
Topped with cranberry juice

Moving, and Fast!

Nothing like moving to cause me to stress the fuck out! Criminy. Although a large portion has been self-inflicted. Since last posting, Nathan and I started dating. I initially thought that it'd be a last, temporary fling before I left Georgia. Then I started getting legitimate feelings,  and tried to push him away by coooonstantly mentioning the move. After all, what fool would stay with someone who was leaving?

That fool. My favorite fool. Because he decided to come with me. So we started planning this undertaking together... and I started working every day, doubles, for the past few weeks. I have never been so tired. But now, the move is a scant week away. I am on the verge of freaking the fuck out. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% committed to the move, and totally ok with the insanity that is moving with a boyfriend. But I don't feel like I am financially ready, nor emotionally ready to leave my dog Clooney behind. Everything will work out, I know that, but old insecurities have a habit of coming back when you least want them to. So keep your fingers crossed for me. I need it right now!

Binge in the City, Parte Tres

So by now, it was 6pm on a Saturday that I didn't actually have to work. I'm buzzing, I'm full, and Nathan and I aren't ready to call quits on the night just yet. So what is the logical course of action? Catch a movie!
There's been a film out for a couple months now called "Chef". It's the story of a high-profile chef who dicks up his fine dining career and then proceeds to open a food truck. Both Nathan and I had been wanting to see this film for-freaking-ever, and now the golden opportunity arose! The trick was, because it is an independent flick done by and starring Jon Favreau, it was only showing in a small, small handful of theaters. We managed to find one by my place with a 7:15 showing, and headed over.
That movie? Everything I ever wanted in a food film and more. The interactions between the kitchen and front of house staff was accurate, the depiction of home life was mostly on point, and the food? Goddamn. This movie had me craving Cuban sandwiches for a week! Not only was it a solid story, the star-studded cast and the fact that chef Roy Choice produced and mentored the film just created a winning combination. I could seriously watch this 12 more times and still be ecstatic. My favorite part? The fact that NONE OF THE SPANISH WAS SUBTITLED. If you know Spanish, you get an extra layer of comedy to everything. If you don't? Well, it won't take away from the movie, but you seriously took the wrong classes in high school. Also the cornstarch scene is amazeballs. ;) Bonus? If you hang out through the credits, Roy Choi teaches you how to make the best grilled cheese ever.
Afterwards, both of us dying for a Cuban, Nathan and I tried to find a Cuban restaurant open at 10pm on a Saturday night in Atlanta. Verdict? Nada. So, we headed to the Victory Sandwich Bar in Decatur (www.vicsandwich.com). They were serving a sandwich they called "The Castro" (haha punny). Essentially a Cuban sans mojo sauce. It, and a couple of their fun cocktails, did the trick. We called it a night, and my amazing foodie weekend ended. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect weekend.

...well, maybe if I had gotten laid. That'd been cool.

Binge in the City Part 2

So where were we? Right. Saturday morning, post-show hangover. I had made plans with my buddy Charles to do lunch at the Porter (www.theporterbeerbar.com), and my friend Nathan joined us.
I love the Porter. The beer selection is unparalleled, but what really elevates it for me is the food. Oh. My. God. The food! The core menu has some decent staples, sure, but I always go for the specials. They are always changing, and you can tell the chef really goes all out with them. I've had amazing vegetarian dishes there, and I usually avoid those like the plague. This particular morning, my hangover demanded a Berliner-weisse beer and a ginger ramen they had on special. That ramen? Oh my tits that ramen. It was everything I needed. Not much broth, and what was there was more reminiscent of a gingery, vinegared glaze that paired beautifully with the mushrooms and cucumber in it. The noodles were perfectly cooked, and the sour Berliner-weisse complimented everything while not making me want to kill myself. The guys had the 'hangover hash' special which apparently did the trick as well. I tried a bite of the grits, and man- it was as if Paula Deen had made them; crazy overwhelming butter flavor.

Afterwards, Charles and I headed to the Wrecking Bar Brewery (www.wreckingbarbrewpub.com) for a few beers before I would rejoin Nathan later for the Germany-Ghana game that was playing that day. We tasted around the Wrecking Bar's draft list, working our way through the majority of the beer selection between the two of us. My hangover long forgotten by now, I got a serious case of the munchies and ordered a couple small plates, the hot nuts and venison tartar. I gotta say, while the beers are top notch and excellent representations of their styles, the food left me underwhelmed. The nuts were too spicy for my tastes, and the tartar had an unpleasant puréed texture with an overbearing horseradish flavor.
Still, overall the experience was a blast, and I was bummed by the thought of leaving for a different venue for the game. As luck would have it though, I ran into another friend of mine who had just started working at the Wrecking Bar, Tim, and he revealed to me that they did have TVs for the game- in the actual brewery event space. So they wound up opening it up for Charles and I, and as Nathan rejoined us, more futbol aficionados filtered in to enjoy the game. I couldn't not snack during game time, so I decided to give the pretzel and cheese dip a try as well as the rabbit "wings". The rabbit? Delicious. I loved it, and will absolutely order it again. The pretzel was good, too- the cheese sauce, however, bugged me. The flavor was on point, but whoever prepped it didn't melt the cheese down properly and it gave the dip a grainy texture. Cheese, like any meltable material, has a specific melting point temperature. What a lot of people don't realize is that different cheeses have different melting points, and melting it down at a too- high temp too quickly can create greasy, oily, grainy goo. Not appetizing.
The game ended on a 2-2 tie for Germany and Ghana, and by now a thunderstorm that had snuck through Atlanta had ended. I was feeling fat, buzzed, and happy, and ready to chill. Nathan and I parted ways with Charles, and finished our evening... Reserved for the part 3. (This story was a lot longer than I originally thought...)

Binge in the City Part One

I've been intending to post for the past week now, but I've been caught up in such a foodie fest it just made more sense to try to post something after the dust settled and I had time to sort through beer-soaked memories.

Since I decided to leave Atlanta, I created a bucket list of things that I wanted to do before I left the city. I posted it on Facebook, and my friends have all started helping me accomplish them. Coincidentally, I've been having the best time of my life lately!

First on the agenda, it is World Cup time of year again! I am a staunch Germany supporter (big surprise, right?) So I've been making time to watch all of their games. Last Monday, Germany had their first match against Portugal. I called my friends Anthony, Thomas, and Darrell, and we convened on a local Taco Mac (www.tacomac.com) with a vengeance! The beer was flowing, the wings were surprisingly mild (next time I'm getting a way hotter sauce), and Germany *decimated* Portugal 4-0. My friends tried getting me to stay out for the US-Ghana game, but I had other plans- my evening was commandeered by my other friend, Nathan, and the Atlanta Braves.

I have been to Braves games before, but I have never been able to remember the end of a game (a curious side effect of hanging out with alcohol distributors...). On my bucket list was the entry, "See a Braves game, and remember who won!". So, Nathan got the tickets, and away we went!

Surprisingly enough, every game I've ever been to has been Braves v Phillies, and this one was no exception. Hopefully, however, the Braves performed better in the games I don't remember; because holy crap did they phone it in for this one. This is the game that I learned that Turner Field essentially shuts down at 7pm and beer and coffee became totally unavailable. Thankfully, we did manage to snag a couple of H&F burgers before we realized what a tragedy gameplay was going to be.

H&F burgers are a " thing" here in ATL. The original was created by Holeman & Finch, one of Chef Linton Hopkins' restaurants. I've never had the pleasure of a classic Holeman & Finch burger, but with the H&F burger stand at Turner Field, I got to try an approximation. And it was deeeeelicious. Juicy, messy, and just a beautiful double stack of burger, onion, and cheese. Paired with a Sweetwater 420 and I was a happy camper!

Fast-forward to Friday. Item 2 knocked off of my bucket list was going to see more live music- Atlanta has some great local acts, and I haven't been able to make the time to see any of them. So I nabbed tickets to see a coworker's band, Greco (www.wearegreco.com), and planned on having a chill night at home prior to the show. However, got roped into watching another World Cup game prior to the show, and thanks to the Black Bear Tavern (www.blackbeartavern.net), got to try my very first Boot. They have secured my loyalty for this upcoming Germany-USA game just because of this Boot. <3

Had a blast afterwards at Greco's show, of course. They played at the Basement, a fun, grungy dive venue in East Atlanta, where I proceeded to drink far too much vodka soda and sadly had to dip out early. However, my weekend was really just beginning... (Continued in part 2!)

When I was in high school, I used to hear about some classes requiring you to volunteer for some sort of charitable cause in order to graduate. I remember thinking about how lucky I was that I didn't. I was a pretty selfish kid back in the day, and in some respects, I still am. But back then, it was probably equal parts selfish and lazy. And the charities that people were volunteering with? I couldn't care less about.

Fast forward to now. I am an avid volunteer. I love giving my time to many of the different food - centric events around Atlanta, many of which do support excellent causes like Share our Strength. It's not the charity that gets me to do it, though. In many ways, I haven't changed a lot from the girl I used to be. However, the biggest difference between then and now is probably the fact that it is truly volunteering instead of compulsory free labor. I actually want to and get excited about getting together with a team of people that are genuinely happy to work to make something incredible happen.

I've been volunteering with the Atlanta Food and Wine Festival all this week. This is easily one of my favorite events, because I spend most of my time in Production- the part of the festival that makes things work. I help organize and accomplish tasks that help make the logistics of this event run like a machine. And this year? They let me start driving the golf carts!!!! (I've never driven a golf cart before, it's the little things, haha)

Even more fun are some of the connections I've made- I have spent a couple shifts helping in the kitchen,  where I've gotten to work with Shaun Doty, of Bantam and Biddy, and Tory McPhail of Commander's Palace- both super nice guys! And now I can't wait to make my first trip to New Orleans this year...!

I guess, to make a long story short, I still hate the idea of required volunteer work in schools. But at the same time, don't shut down the idea entirely- when you find something that you actually want to do, make the time. It may not have your usual perks, but it sure makes opportunities a lot easier to find!

Memorial Day!

It has been soooooo long since I had such a perfect day like yesterday!  Originally, I was supposed to go camping with a friend Sunday night until this morning, a quick day trip to get the hell out of dodge and reset our brains. However, work needed me to work a double that Sunday, and I wound up being stuck there until 1am. So what did my friend and I do?

Splurged on a cabin.

We left for the cabin immediately after I got out of work and drove out to Helen, GA, where we had booked a place on Yonah Mountain. After nearly getting lost on the mountain at 3am, we finally found the place, and let me tell you, it was amazing. Beautiful wood flooring and a deck that overlooked a gorgeous Appalachian mountain range. Extra perk? Hot tub! We celebrated our arrival, then proceeded to pass out until 11am.
It was rough getting out of bed, but we didn't want to waste the entire day in bed, so we shuffled to the kitchen and made brunch.
Pro chefs make the best cabinmates. Breakfast that day was homemade biscuits with pimiento cheese and bacon, followed by some intensely savory bloody marys. To celebrate the holiday, we watched "Major Payne" with a few beers, and followed it up with hot tub time. Afterwe felt too lazy to function,  we rolled back inside to snipe at episodes of "Cutthroat Kitchen" (we both hate the show), then made our own take on pasta carbonara while I invented a cocktail- the Sunshine & Summertime! After hiking a bit and mor hot tub time, we ended our day with "Family Guy", wine, and perfectly cooked steaks. I passed out, blissed out, shortly after.

This trip is precious to me. It's not often industry folks really get time off to disconnect from work, and we had definitely needed a break. Plus I got to spend time with a dear friend I rarely get to see,  and once I go west, may not see again for years. Thankfully, at the very least I now have a signature cocktail that will remind me of this weekend for the rest of my life. Here's my recipe:

Sunshine&Summertime

2oz Vodka (We used Belvedere)
1.5oz Grapefruit juice
Splash of Amaro
1 egg white
Torn rosemary and sage
Pink moscato

Combine everything except the moscato in a shaker with ice. Shake vigorously,  then strain into a wine glass. Add a splash of pink moscato and a large ice cube, and enjoy while cursing out the numbnuts on "Cutthroat Kitchen".

Go West!

I've been blogging for over a year. Not consistently, by any means, but I've done it. It's something I never thought I'd have the patience to do. It's an exciting idea! A lot of things have been changing recently.  Things are going fine, I just had a mild epiphany that I was bored.
I love Atlanta, there's no question about that. But when I was younger, I always dreamed of going to California, becoming famous, the whole nine. As I got older, I let reality dictate more and more of my life until I was working comfortable (though not necessarily stable) jobs, and settling for a life I'm no longer 100% sold on. It got me thinking.  If I had to look my 10-year-old self in the eye, and explain my life to her, what would she think of me. More jarring- if I have a daughter one day, I will have to explain a few things to her. How am I supposed to look a kid in the eye and say, "Work hard and you can make your dreams come true" when so far my own life has been, "Work hard and eh, your life will be not entirely shitty"? I may be a hypocrite on a few things, but I never want to be called a hypocrite for my life values. So, I'm finally going to work on making my California dream come true!
I've been applying for seasonal jobs assisting with wine harvests for this fall. If all goes well, that will hopefully give me a strong enough foothold to find permanent work out there. My prospects look good- I've got my local wine contacts putting out feelers for me, I applied at 8 different vineyards yesterday and already had a phone interview with one I feel pretty confident about. It looks like things may come together really well for me.
The idea of going west is daunting,  no argument there. However, compared to when I first came to Atlanta? I feel WAY better about things. I actually have friends where I'm going, for starters! And yeah, I'll be broke for a bit while I'm out there. But hey, I'm broke here in Atlanta too. I just have to keep reminding myself that regardless of what happens,  I will survive it and be more awesome for it.

How to become my least favorite place on the planet

I admit, I should have posted this last week, when the events referenced were more relevant.  However, I made the decision to wait based on two criteria- I wanted to see how the general public would react, and I wanted time to really process my own thoughts on the matter so I didn't wind up sounding like a kindergartner calling someone a poopface on the playground. Well, I've had enough time to think, and I'm finally ready to write.

On April 3, a friend of mine, Arianne Fielder, was fired from her mixologist position at Parish in Inman Park, Atlanta. I heard about it through Arianne's Facebook page. Now, had it had been a normal firing announcement, I probably would have just thought, "Bummer", and went about my day. However, Arianne wound up finding out about her firing in a much worse way.  EaterAtlanta announced that Parish had decided to go "another direction" with its bar program,  and that Arianne no longer was employed there. That one post was Arianne's first exposure to said news. That disgusts me.

In this day and age of mass and instantaneous communication,  there is no excuse to take such a cowardly approach to releasing an employee. Especially as Parish is a small part of the larger Concentrics Restaurant Group, a company known for its involvement with high profile restaurants and Richard Blais. In what backwards backwoods way of thinking did their upper management ever think that going that route was ok? If they were comfortable enough to make a statement to Eater, they had clearly already made up their minds long enough in advance to inform Arianne first. It could have been a respectable, dignified break. Instead, they pulled the employer's version of whipping their tits out for 'Girls Gone Wild'. Honestly, after hearing about this, what self-respecting mixologist (nevermind even just a halfway competent one) is going to want to work for them? I myself am not going to say my employment record is completely unmarred, but now there is no way in hell you could convince me the Concentrics restaurants are worth applying at.

What I'm also finding disappointing is the lack of coverage by the local food and beverage media. I have only seen one other mention of this event, and I would like to think I keep decent track of the Atlanta area food and bev news.  Pretty Southern did a piece after Arianne's post (http://prettysouthern.com/2014/04/04/atlantas-best-bartender-gets-fired-via-the-web/), and that is all I have seen. I wish more people were reacting. How on earth can we help support our fellow industry professionals if incidents such as this are kept so quiet? I hope this changes. I hope Concentrics realizes what a really shitty mistake they made. In the meantime, I will not be entering into any restaurant/bar/kitschy provisions shop that they have any hand in. Shame on you, Concentrics. I can't wait to see what undoubtedly better place Arianne winds up at next.

How to Win My Restaurant Loyalty

It is always a pleasure when I get to walk into restaurants that I've been eyeing for a while, and get exactly the experience I'm looking for. It's even better when a place surpasses my expectations!  Cue the Salt Yard.

I moved about two blocks away from this place back in February. I pass it nearly every other day when I head to CVS, the dry cleaners, or the liquor store. I have frequently told myself I needed to stop in, just never seemed to have the opportunity to do so. Well, yesterday I was having a bit of a lonely day, so I decided to haul my butt away from the Law & Order: SVU reruns that had commanded my day and get on with my night.

Entering the Salt Yard, it looked very similar to many of my favorite rustic-but-modern decor'd restaurants that have become a familiar sight here in the South. The inside of the restaurant was on the calmer side, being that it was a gorgeously warm spring night, most guests opted for patio seating. I slid into a plush leather-cushioned bar seat and perused the menu.

This is where I got really excited. The wine list was accessible, the beers were an excellent grouping of choices designed to transition people to craft beer, and the cocktail list was short and simple- making my normally overwhelming drink decision MUCH easier (Whether the bartender, Brett, believes it or not- I still spent a good 8 minutes deciding! ).

Even more exciting to me was the food menu.  My former boss, Richard, always used to joke that I "ate like a bird", and he's quite right. I prefer tasting around a bunch of different dishes rather than trying to inhale a massive entrée. Salt Yard specializes in small plates! They had 5 different sections of the menu devoted to different varieties of tapas-sized plates, with influences across the culinary spectrum, but they all fit together in a way that made sense. They also had a small entrée segment, but it was clear they wanted people to try a variety of what they were capable of. 

Over the course of my adventure there, I tried their stuffed piquillo peppers, grilled octopus, deviled eggs, and 'shrooms on toast. Nothing disappointed me at all, though the grilled octopus was easily my favorite- it was served with arugula and roasted potatoes, and lightly dressed with a citrusy vinaigrette. Even better, the octopus itself was TENDER. I was hooked immediately.

The personnel also has me hooked. Brett was entertaining and engaging, and then a gentleman who I thought was a manager, Christian, was kind enough to buy me a beer. After a bit of post-visit research, it occurs to me that he may have been the owner. Even their expediter (possibly/probably the chef?) kept checking on me. I love attention, so I had a grand time.

Ultimately, the Salt Yard has easily won my business. They took what was originally a sad night for me and turned it around in the best way. I can't wait to go back, especially as they mentioned that the menu is changing next week!

Http://www.saltyardatlanta.com

Surf n' Turf Saturday Night

So the guy from my last "Saturday night" post? Yeah. We're still seeing each other. And he's been just as awesome. I keep telling him I want to cook for him, but with our schedules, it's been close to impossible. Currently, I only have Saturday nights free to spend with him; and that's usually after a brunch shift that totally drains me. However, he's been fantastically understanding. Last Saturday, we grabbed Little Caesar's and just chilled at his place. Last night, he offered to cook for me!

When he picked me up, he mentioned we had to stop at the store- he had picked up some beautiful ribeyes earlier at the farmer's market, but needed to pick up a side dish. Apparently his green beans are magical,  so we stopped at the grocery store by his place to pick them up. On the way, we both decided we were a bit too hungry to wait and needed a pre-dinner snack. And something for dessert. We walked the aisles, snagging brownie mix (because if I didn't have energy to make a whole meal, dammit, I can do brownies from a box at least) and a shrimp cocktail platter.

We got to his place to discover the shrimp was frozen solid. So I set it under a tap of running water and got "baking" while he started dinner. Once the brownie mix was in the oven and he was halfway ready to start cooking, his mom called. Dinner got put on hold for a bit while he took the call, and I remembered an old quick-thaw trick for frozen cocktail shrimp I learned at a restaurant I used to work at. By the time he was off the phone (and 15 whole minutes after I could have had the shrimp thawed), we were decimating our snack.

Watching him cook, his technique could have used work. But I behaved and kept my mouth shut- after all, he was cooking for me! And you know what? It wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it immensely. I'm so thankful he was willing to cook, and I hope he does it for me again.

*Andi's "no shit sherlock" shrimp thaw trick*
Put the frozen shrimp in a bowl and cover with very hot water. Let it sit for 2-3 minutes.  Drain, then quick chill in ice water and drain again. Serve immediately
*I cannot guarantee this is the most food safe way to do this, but to my knowledge it hasn't gotten anyone sick yet.

My Night on the V-Side

I adore meat. Pretty sure I have made that exceptionally clear, even having an entire post dedicated to it. However, I do try to keep an open mind. So when an old Improv friend of mine happened to be in town Friday night, and I happened to have the night off, I joined him and his pescatarian friends for dinner at a vegetarian Chinese restaurant.

I was a bit unsure going in, not going to lie. The menu looked just like any other Chinese food menu, down to the sweet-and-sour chicken and Mongolian beef, but there were side notes at the bottom of each page that specified that the "meats" were soy-based substitutes. We all started off with a couple of appetizers, some steamed dumplings and hot and sour soup. I enjoyed the soup, but the dumplings were stuffed with different purees that had a not-quite-pleasant runny texture. The flavor didn't suck, but it was a bit disappointing.

Entrees... well, I have never been so disappointed in tofu. And this was at a vegetarian-specific restaurant!  I never expected to say this, but I should have gone with one of the soy substitute "meat" dishes.  Those actually had a decent flavor to them. Overall, not someplace I would go to of my own accord, but if I had vegetarian friends, I'd humor them and tag along.

Saturday Spirits and Serendipity

Wow. I have been totally blown away these past couple days. Saturday evening, I got finished with work and sat down at the bar for a post-shift drink. I can't remember what had irked me a bit, but something convinced me to go for whiskey that day. I think my coworker had been slacking or something. Anyway, there was this guy at the bar, and we just hit it off. It was like talking to a male version of myself. It was fascinating! We even discovered we were both former Marine Corps Brats- born and raised in military families, and got the hell out of that lifestyle as fast as we were able! We spent a solid 10 minutes laughing over our parents' disciplinary styles. As the time ticked by, I found I didn't want to stop hanging out with him. So I decided to invite him to join me at the tequila place next door.

The chemistry just intensified from there. We wolfed down guacamole and jalapeno mezcal margaritas, then I introduced him to my favorite coffee shop/bar. We bonded over bourbon cocktails and beer ice cream, and I decided to just say fuck it and invited him to join me at the Jameson Bartender's Ball.

Fast forward to last night- dude was a total gentleman. Arrived on time, opened doors, and get this- BROUGHT ME FLOWERS. I have never felt so special, or connected with someone who was actually single so well. He even thinks my restaurant is a cool idea. We're going out again Saturday, and I couldn't be more excited. Plus? His kitchen is amazeballs. Can't wait!!!

Aggravated

I went to the emergency room on Thursday. No broken bones or anything of the sort, just severe jaw pain brought on by wisdom teeth. Those suckers should have been yanked five, six years ago; however I am petrified of dentists. And nowadays, a bit more.

I am one of many Americans sans insurance, a lovely side effect of my chosen profession. So, many medical issues I may have I either handle on my own or ignore completely because I can't afford it. And it's not just the procedure costs, it's also the lack of income coming in if I have to stay home and recuperate for any duration. It gets frustrating because I know I'm just making things worse for myself, but when I'm trying to effectively support my younger brother and myself, priorities shift to survival mode and medical treatment hits the 'luxury' column.

I also have this fear of my own independence. I know, that sounds weird. But Thursday, I walked myself to the ER and back. I made myself go to work later that afternoon (thankfully they had the sense to force me to go home). My independece was the greatest gift my mom raised me with, but at the same time, how stupid can I get about it? I hate asking for help these days because I have had so many people flake out on me. But when I do eventually get these teeth out, I don't have anyone around to help me stop myself. It's a sobering, lonely, and infuriating condition. Hopefully I'll get it figured out sooner rather than later.

Fishy! (In A Good Way!)

J cooked for me Saturday night! Hell, J stayed over that night! I suppose I should back up...

I recently moved into a new apartment, downsizing my life to a comfortable, manageable degree. My place now is easy to maintain, I get to spend more time with my dogs, and ultimately it isn't a Shame Shack of a residence as I had taken to calling the former. And, since I still talk to J (I know, I know, really ought to quit that cold turkey already!), I mentioned i was in a new place that I was actually proud of and he was welcome to visit anytime. He decided to come over Saturday.

Now, I know him. I highly doubted he'd show- after all, he was coming over after he left work (late-ass o'clock) on his restaurants' busiest service night. In fact, I was convinced he wasn't coming. So when he told me he was going to bring food and cook for me, I made alternate plans.

I made Forelle Blau, also know as Trout au Bleu based off of a Lower Saxon recipe. Live-tweeted it the entire time as well (follow me @andiwredonkulus). It turned out really well, and I flipped on reruns of 'A Cook's Tour' to doze off to. 10:17pm, I got a text- "Just left 15 min ago"

I was flabbergasted. He was actually going to show up? Hell, I was getting a second dinner?? (Food shows make me hungry) And show he did. With food. At about 12:30am. I didn't care, I was over the moon and starving at this point.  He wound up making me a shortrib dish that is popular at one of his restaurants, and I can see why- granted, it wasn't my thing necessarily (it used whole grain mustard, which I am nooot a fan of), but the fact that he cooked for me was incredibly sweet. And even better? In the morning we collaborated on a frittata, and that turned out goddamned delicious. I'm feeling really good about things with J! I might even have hope for a future with him again.

In other news, going to be spending my morning making a couple different condiments- a special German hot mustard that my former boss taught me, and Jägersauce for schnitzel that I'll be making later in the week. I'll live-tweet the Jägersauce around 12pm EST if you are interested! In the meantime, here's the Forelle Blau recipe I used.

Forelle Blau
*serves two*

2 whole trout, cleaned
1pt stock (fish preferably, but chicken works too)
1c white wine
1/4c white wine vinegar
Salt
Black peppercorns

Boil your liquids together. While those are getting started, tie your trout into a u-shape by tying their lower jaw to the tail. Put the fish in a deep, roomy pot. Pour your boiling stock mix over it, then season with the peppercorn and salt to taste. Cover, let simmer for 15 min, then serve. Quick, easy, and pretty tasty!

Launching!

Friends, Family, Mysterious Denizens of the Internet,

I am finally ready to officially make an announcement.

I have been vaguely speaking about this for months, divulging bits and pieces as I saw fit. Now I can comfortably say: it's happening. I am ready, with a new partner on board, to begin moving forward with plans to create Atlanta's newest member of the Food Revolution. All goes well, and Trinken will be operational by 2016!

So here's the skinny: Trinken is unashamedly German, with local Atlanta sentiment. Specializing in German food utilizing locally sourced products, I have teamed up with Rob "the Brewru" Merrick to develop it into a full-on brewpub. We will also be featuring guest taps of other excellent Georgia breweries, and of course a quality import list of some of our favorite German beers. I want this to be a pub for Atlanta, by Atlanta- so next month, I will be launching a crowd funding campaign as well as searching for investors. Over the course of the year, I will also be hosting a variety of dinner parties and other fundraising efforts. We're going to make this happen. It will be incredible.  And if you want to get more involved, email me at TrinkenBarAtlanta@gmail.com. Join the future of Atlanta's food scene!

Wilkommen auf Trinken- Not Your Grandma's Biergarten!

Once Upon a Time...

And just like that, it's finished. Four years of conceptualization. Three months of research, mathematics, procrastination, and cooking. Cumulative five days of typing, reformatting, and typing again. Over fifty pages of relevant materials,  nevermind the obscene amounts of other materials I have yet to polish because they are irrelevant to potential investors (Though those will be done soon enough). More work invested in this one project than I ever put into any of my school projects combined. And I can finally call it DONE.

DONE!

I no longer have this aggravating leech of an idea, just sitting on my brain and nagging me constantly with thoughts of, "You haven't done enough research!  Your idea probably won't work. But hey, you'll never know- you keep procrastinating!  Lazy. You could TOTALLY be working on it right now!"
Well screw you, Brain! I finished something. For once. And my math actually supports my research,  my bar can be a viable business. This lunacy of mine may just work!

Of course, now the first leech has been replaced with a newer, bigger persistence- "Way to go, smartypants.  You got your shit figured out. Now, let's try this whole getting your shit actually together and get this place built, eh?" (The voices in my head seem to all be grizzled old Brooklynites... I can't even begin to explain that)

So, the prelude is over. I guess it is now safe to say my story actually begins today. Cool. :)

The Final Countdown?

Decided to be productive today.

It's a bit scary.

I am sooooo close, I could honestly finish this damn plan today if I had physical copies of this information in front of me. I have the hardest time focusing on screens. However, I think I'm going to make it happen. Notebooks will be filled with numbers and nonsense before today is over. Oh man. Oh man oh man. I'm even doing financial stuff! And while yes, my brain hates me at he moment,  it's getting DONE. PHASE TWO IS IMMINENT. SOON THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!!!

...Or, you know, my bar. Whatever.

Bittersweet

It's been hard to write recently. I've been backsliding into bad habits I had a few years ago, and when you're busy getting fucked up 7 nights a week then working the same amount, it's hard to pause for self-reflection.

I know what it is, too. I still miss J. When we broke it off, I avoided actually processing it. What's worse, I pretended we were fine as just friends. I still talk to him, I still see him when he's in town, hell, he and I cooked together last week. I helped him tile his fucking bathroom. I am a fantastic liar, I actually believed that by jumping into the dating pool again, I was over it. Not. Even. Close.

I shouldn't beat myself up about it so bad- theoretically I, too, am human. But it is so much harder than I want it to be to look at someone I want so bad to spend the rest of my life with and realize it probably won't happen. I need to give him up. But everything reminds me. Even my bar. Especially my bar. And that's really getting to me.

Progress on the bar is accelerating as far as the business plan. But every minute I spend on it, I want to share it with him. He was one of my catalysts to motivate me to actually work towards it. His influence is all over it, even without direct involvement. At this rate, I can only hope the bar consumes so much of my time I won't have time to dwell on him anymore.

Eggs

Happy New Year!  And I am beyond excited to begin it. After an insane holiday season, I am ready to kick my year into top gear and really kick ass this year. I was lucky enough to have my immediate family in town, and we had a great Christmas day. I had worked the night prior, so they were kind enough to let me sleep in a bit- we opened gifts at 2, then proceeded to go make Christmas dinner. That consisted of a massive 8 pound ham and 2 trays of lasagna- very italian gorge-fest merged with my sister-in-law's ham tradition. We ate ALL afternoon. And we drank. All afternoon. We had a blast! My friend Robin even made an appearance with her amazing homemade pickles, an excellent wine, and toffee. Everything tasted fantastic,  and getting to connect with the family again made my day.
I did get an incredibly meaningful gift a few days afterward- my own copy of "On Food and Cooking" by Harold McGee. I had been borrowing my friend Darrell's copy for a few weeks, and the book fascinates me. It's essentially a big textbook about the science of food, and I loved it. Well, he was kind enough to get me one, and I couldn't be happier. It's incredibly informative,  and really helps me connect what I want to do with food with the actual reactions that will commence during cooking. It's brilliant. And it has taught me more about eggs than I ever thought. And that's just one small portion.
When I was in my culinary classes in high school, the second lesson after the Sanitation class was egg cookery. That class in particular sticks out for me for many reasons- for one, I remember being surprised that we were going to spend 4 hours just talking about eggs. And I was a little grossed out- we were focusing on fried and scrambled eggs, and I was not a fan at the time. Still not overly fond of them, to be honest, but I'll actually eat them nowadays. We went over basic breakfast preparations, and how to crack the egg one-handed, and how to flip the egg in the sauté pan sans a spatula. When I tried my first flip, my yolk and white somehow separated, flipped simultaneously, and then broke in the pan. It was surprising to watch, and I promptly forgot about it. Fast forward 8 years later, and I have found myself eating and cooking eggs more often than ever, especially completely different preparations than I have ever tried.
With my new book, eggs have become far less mysterious, and far more important to me. They are so incredibly versatile, and now that I know what the hell I'm doing with them, they are actually pretty tasty. I've found I make a freaking awesome Sunnyside-up.
It's a cool juxtaposition that eggs, the symbol of rebirth in some cultures, has also found itself at the biggest culinary steps in my life. And nowadays, I'm very interested to see what else I can do with them. So here's to 2014, y'all! Let's see where it takes us!