I went to the emergency room on Thursday. No broken bones or anything of the sort, just severe jaw pain brought on by wisdom teeth. Those suckers should have been yanked five, six years ago; however I am petrified of dentists. And nowadays, a bit more.
I am one of many Americans sans insurance, a lovely side effect of my chosen profession. So, many medical issues I may have I either handle on my own or ignore completely because I can't afford it. And it's not just the procedure costs, it's also the lack of income coming in if I have to stay home and recuperate for any duration. It gets frustrating because I know I'm just making things worse for myself, but when I'm trying to effectively support my younger brother and myself, priorities shift to survival mode and medical treatment hits the 'luxury' column.
I also have this fear of my own independence. I know, that sounds weird. But Thursday, I walked myself to the ER and back. I made myself go to work later that afternoon (thankfully they had the sense to force me to go home). My independece was the greatest gift my mom raised me with, but at the same time, how stupid can I get about it? I hate asking for help these days because I have had so many people flake out on me. But when I do eventually get these teeth out, I don't have anyone around to help me stop myself. It's a sobering, lonely, and infuriating condition. Hopefully I'll get it figured out sooner rather than later.
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