Chapter 2~

I've been in such a cool space lately! For the first time in months, things are honestly progressing on the up and up for me. I FINALLY have a place to live, and will be able to get my things out of storage for October. I have a job that I love, that challenges me in all of the right ways and actually supports me in my personal life. And while the transition is still a tad rocky, I'm doing well enough that I got to spend a week in New York City last week with some of my best friends on the planet. Even better, my current job will afford me the ability to do that more often, and travel elsewhere more easily! I'll finally be cooking at home again!!!

With that, I'm finally going to be able to bring a direction to this blog. At least once a week, I'll do a new recipe for y'all and the story that accompanies it. When I travel, I'll tell you about the amazing local products I find. And while I study for my sommelier certifications- well, you'll get an earful on how goddamn tired I am of drinking goddamn French wines, no matter how delicious they are. (Seriously, I love French wines now, but studying them makes me want to slam my head into their stupid limestone-laced terroir.)

It's a new chapter, and I can't wait to start writing it!

Middle Eastern Eating

To accompany my fascination with food, I follow a lot of chefs on social media, and constantly keep my ears to the ground for local and national food news. That being said, I also drink a lot and occasionally forget details or entire places and recipes I want to try, and that will occasionally end with me trying a place I had forgotten about. It becomes a weird, fun game of pseudo-dé ja vu. And I really win when it turns out that what I've tried is a pet project of acquaintances of mine!!!

Story time. I had never tried Shawarma before. Hell, I had only ever heard about it because of the Avengers movie. I have woefully little experience with middle eastern cuisine- my family, being career military, is not necessarily as open minded about that particular region. My first encounter with anything resembling that style of food was through a chef I used to work with in a Spanish restaurant and they let him do more Moorish-style cuisine. I learned about sumac and harissa, and was interested, but I didn't know where to find more stuff like it.

Now, a few nights ago I was jonesing for some tacos. I was also feeling incredibly lazy, and didn't want to go too too far for them. But as 8pm drew closer, and tacos steadfastly refused to appear, I hauled myself off the couch and ventured out into the Atlanta evening. I headed to Krog Street Market, knowing of a "Mex-Tex" restaurant there called Superica, but I wanted to check out the various other stalls to see if there were more enticing options to be had.

When I got there, half of the market was already closed for the evening. Lucky for me, the few stalls that weren't already closed were the more food-focused! No tacos, though. I was about to give up and just nab a sandwich from Fred's Meat and Bread (my second fave sandwich place), when Yalla caught my eye. Both Fred's and Yalla are projects of Chef Todd Ginsberg and his partners. I've accidentally been following Chef Ginsberg's career with my stomach ever since I first encountered him at Bocado. He's always headed kitchens with really solid menus, but I have to admit- Yalla is my favorite so far.

I ordered a Chicken Shawarma Pita, and was given a monstrous pocket half the size of my head. And it was LOADED. Chicken, spices, hummus, pickles- so many delicious things the pita literally couldn't hold the weight. As I chowed down, hummus and sauces tore through the bread and dribbled on to my hands. Usually, with something that large, I don't finish my meal. I pack it up, politely infer I'm saving it for later, and wind up throwing it out blocks away from the establishment. With the Shawarma, though... I couldn't get enough. I used a fork to shovel everything that had fallen out into my face. I licked my fingers and hands clean. And when the last bite was gone, I knew I could never go back to basic, boring pita sandwiches again, and tacos found themselves totally demoted in my pantheon of favorite foods. I have no idea how authentic Ginsberg's Shawarma is to "real" Shawarma. Frankly, I don't care either. I am now firmly in the "happy pita" camp.

Up in Smoke

August in Atlanta is a beast. Humidity hangs in the air, making frequent showers a necessity. Cicadas rattle through the trees in the hot sun, and storms breeze in and out in mere minutes. It's the last screams of summer, before the whole city starts to cool in September.

This summer back home has been great. I have finally begun to strike a solid work- social life balance. Granted, I'm still hanging out with cooks, but who else would I ever want to hang out with? I had the pleasure of introducing a friend of mine from California to a group of motley industry folk a few nights ago, at a proper southern pig roast! Twenty or thirty of us cycled in and out of this party throughout the night, and it was such a perfect example of southern hospitality.

For starters, we had SO. MUCH. FOOD. Our menu consisted of a 45lb pig, at least a dozen steaks, 2 whole chickens, corn on the cob, smoked potatoes, massive zucchini, oysters, and charcuterie out the wazoo. Someone brought salad, but the poor thing lay neglected on the table the entire night. Beer and conversation flowed, and paper plates were ignored in favor of just ripping the feast apart by hand like Vikings. Smoke perfumed the air, and strangers bonded over the picnic tables. Stories were shared, and true to the climate, the skies opened up for a brief downpour (Thank god for covered pavilions!). It was really energizing to be around such positive people just having a great time. It was the perfect end to my summer.

Now I'm getting ready to start working at a new place- a restaurant I have revered for years, and can honestly say I'm proud to work for. I'll be serving tables, but this won't be like other restaurants I've waited at: this is one of the greatest restaurants in the southeast (if not the country). This is my food nerd dream career step! So cheers to perfect closures and new beginnings! This fall is going to be fantastic.

Recycling

Last night, I meandered the streets of Atlanta at 1am for the first time in over a year. Heat lightning crested in the sky, and a quick sprinkle wet the asphalt and released that perfect warm, humid smell. I looked around, and streets that used to be littered with garbage and junkies were now quieter, cleaner. I passed the Masquerade, and a neighborhood that used to scream dirty now was dressed in gentrification. It was strange to see.

In many ways, I have been feeling like I wound up exactly where I left off when I left Atlanta last August. Same job, same friends, same very awkward encounters with people I was in no way prepared to see. But my walk last night reminded me that really, I'm not the same person. While I did go back to my old job, I'm on track for bigger and better things. I have way more patience for myself (and my cooking) than I've ever had. I'm in the midst of my own revitalization, much like Ponce City Market is helping my favorite city grow.

I still have a lot of my old bad habits. But I've made some better choices. And now, I'm exactly where I need to be to keep improving, keep moving forward, and make my mark in my chosen career path.

Venturing Forward

I'm not one to profess any sort of belief in fate. In fact, the idea of it, from a logic standpoint, is just downright silly. But occasionally coincidences stack up just enough to make me curious if the universe is trying to tell me something. And, being that I have a tendency to be a bit dense, sometimes it takes quite the smack upside the head for me to get it.

My week in Atlanta was an incredible whirlwind of reminiscing and reminders of why I left in the first place. The Food and Wine festival was an absolute blast, and every aching muscle and drop of sweat was worth it. It really brought attention to the sense of community amongst all southerners (be they Carolinian, Georgian, or anything else) that I've been missing so much. And then my world got an extra little shake up that solidified things for me. So I'm going back south.

Now, I am going to try to move to Nashville, but there is a very real possibility that I will be back in Atlanta for a few months before that happens- a lot is up in the air. But beyond that, I am finally ready to take advantage of some of the opportunities I pushed aside because I thought I couldn't hack it. I'm finally wearing my grown-up shoes, and I'm ready to create the life I want. Unfortunately, my wine studies may wind up taking a back burner, since the sudden move is going to utterly drain my meager savings, but I have a much better game plan for moving on, and moving forward. California has been an eye-opening, wonderful chapter, and I am finally ready to live for me again and not spite or misguided altruism. And this time, I am not getting waylaid by my tendency to take others emotional well-being on as my responsibility!

Flying High

I don't fly often, though I am lucky enough to do it more than most. And over the past few years,  I think I almost have the hang of it. I maneuver airports like a pro now. My travel shoes never include laces or clasps (though I am still nutty enough to wear these fierce "don't fuck with me" heels. And I finally began bringing my own freaking food, rather than relying on limp Au Bon Pain or Cinnabon. It occurred to me to finally do this after all of my food magazines ran essentially the same summer travel issue, and I decided to bring a little esoteric SoCal to my favorite SoEast hub. I've packed Cherimoya, an extremely perishable, ridiculously delicious fruit. I had frozen it prior to leaving, but I'm uncertain as to how well it's holding up. Hopefully when I make it to my hotel, I can re-freeze it.

That's the real beauty of cherimoya. It is a lush mix of flavors, all passionfruit, strawberry,  and vanilla custard; no preparation needed. In fact, the best way to eat it is frozen. It is such a delicate fruit, it is rarely seen outside of the areas it is grown in.  And that is why I'm attempting to bring it across the country. I want so bad to share it with my friends and family in Atlanta, it is a really incredible piece of produce! The reactions I anticipate and the 3 airplane bottles of liquor I have already consumed are what is made the tiny obnoxious child kicking my seat for the past 3 hours bearable.

I got stuck in Charlotte, North Carolina, waiting on my flight to Atlanta. It was delayed due to another flight being delayed,  so I managed to squeeze in an $18 (after tip) margarita.  Was it a good margarita? Not particularly. it was overly sweet and thin.  But for the temporary escape from "travel mode", and the fun bartender,  worth it. And I just found out the flight was delayed more. I think it is very safe to say that, while air travel is more convenient time-wise, I would much rather road trip any day. I've already had 5 vivid fantasies of hip checking grandma out of my freaking way, and elbowing small children in the teeth. In all reality, I love children and a select portion of the elderly population. But in all future travel endeavors,  it is probably safer for everyone concerned if I drive. Unless, you know, I pack 20 mini bottles. Those are WONDERFUL attitude adjusters.

Evolution of Taste

How many of us have memories of our childhood, throwing a fit over something on our plates because it is new, weird, or "icky"? I know I was a particularly shitty eater as a kid, having had a few memorable nights of bellowing while I stormed upstairs that baked ham was, " TOTALLY DISGUSTING!!!! " I didn't believe my mom when she assured me that my tastes would change. Of course, I also thought I'd grow up to be a teacher, or movie star. (I was banking on movie star, obviously)

To my own surprise, my mom happened to be right! I started discovering my culinary tastes changing when I started working for Richard's German Restaurant in Brunswick, ME. I had fallen in love with their desserts, and begged the owner, Richard, to teach me how to make them. That spun into my first real job in a kitchen, and it grossed. Me. Out.

German food, beyond being a lot of sausage and cabbage, has a myriad of other dishes and techniques many people aren't familiar with. As a 14-year-old girl, it was downright bizarre. Richard and his sons would try to get me to try things, and for the first few months, I absolutely refused. But after a few shifts working doubles and starving myself, I started to notice the sauerkraut smelling sort of... Well, not awful. I tried it. And the shock of sweet and sour vinegar goodness blew me away. I finally started to let the boys teach me how to eat.

Edible discoveries never stop. Food and beverages are always changing, for better or worse, and it creates mini-adventures for me. In a couple weeks, I'm going to forage for snails and try escargot for the first time. It's just so fascinating to me, to never know what I'll discover next. And knowing what I know now? I fully intend to raise my future kids in a kitchen. The number of opportunities I skipped because I was terrified to step out of my comfortable little box? My kids will never have that fear. I am so much happier now, ready to step out and really seize life by the balls, and that is entirely attributed to my taste buds and the boys at Richard's. I can't thank them enough.

Revelatory Rosemary Lemon Cream Sauce
*I usually can't stand cream sauces, as they usually are too heavy and burden my palate. Dicking around today, I actually found myself licking my plate after stumbling on this*
*1 tsp unsalted butter
*1tbsp extra virgin olive oil
*1 tbsp minced shallots (white onion would also work)
*2 sprigs of fresh rosemary, or 1/2 tsp dried
*1/2 tsp chopped green onion
*Juice of 1 Meyer lemon (or 1/2 regular lemon diluted with a tbsp of water)
*1/2 c heavy cream
*salt to taste

-Put the butter and olive oil in a sauté pan and get the pan nice and hot. If you're preparing the sauce to go on top of a protein (I recommend chicken or white seafood), sear your protein off in the pan first and finish it off in a 200°F oven while you make this sauce
-When your pan is hot, add your shallots and rosemary. Let the shallots get a nice brown without burning, then add the green onion, lemon juice, and cream.
-Let the cream reduce until it's thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. Salt it, then serve over whatever. Bread, noodles, protein, veggies- it's really freaking versatile!

Career moves

I've been stuck in a bit of a rut lately, trying to come up with what to write about. I have been working more, gearing up for the Atlanta Food and Wine Festival. I love this festival, go every year! And thanks to the TimeHop app, I'm getting nice little reminders of what I was doing last year at this time. Last year, I had just received my internship in Sonoma. I had a boyfriend, too many animals, constant stress, and only the vaguest idea of what I wanted my future to be. Now?

I'm actually happier. Ish. To an extent. It's probably better to say I'm more driven, certainly. I'm single, very very single, but I'm happy with that. I get to spend time with my best friend, my dog, and eat tacos on the beach. And for once? I have a 10 year plan. I'm back to the sassy broad I was in high school, and it's great. And I have been getting more jazzed about my future than ever before. I'm seeing friends getting to do incredible things with their careers, and I have some awesome opportunities coming up for myself! I've been happy cooking at home, and I cannot wait to work the festival and try all of the amazing southern food I miss so much! And the people I'll get to meet? I am mentally doing cartwheels!!!

Learning Curve

Education.

It is daunting, to say the least, when you are actually thinking about it in terms of a future. I like to think of myself as an avid learner, however the public education system here in the US did a lovely job of destroying my faith in organized educational settings. I swore up and down out of high school I'd never go to college. I wasn't exactly right, I did a brief five months in art school before dropping out. And that really didn't help my opinion of the whole mess, either.

These days, though, I am coming around a bit more. I still hate what post-high school options have become, but I am willing to accept the inevitable fact that if I really want to make my life what I want it to be, I need to do something to back up my industry experience. I toyed with increasing my knowledge base four years ago, but four years ago I was also suffering from some major delusions of grandeur (I'll admit it, I was a presumptuous asshole). I never put in the effort I should have, and I wasted an incredible opportunity to learn from an incredible sommelier.

Now that I'm actually committing to learning, I have made a conscious decision to somewhat... take myself out of what I consider the real workforce. I am still working for the catering company, but that in itself is a very part time position. I've collected a few of these part time gigs, and strangely enough for me none have anything to do with the restaurant industry. It's nerve wracking for me. I know that the arrangement is ultimately beneficial for my studies, I currently have more free time than I know what to do with. I begin taking my WSET (Wine & Spirits Education Trust) courses in June, and will take the Level 2 exam in July if all goes well. In September, I'm going to begin taking classes with the North American Sommelier Association in order to earn a silver pin sommelier certification. It's going to do wonders for my career, but it feels so weird to remove myself from the workforce to just...read. But, once I get this knocked out of the way, I can really start taking charge of things the way I want to. The fear fuels my spite, and I'll be damned if I drop out of this too!

GA on my mind

Part of my finding my footing here in SoCal has been finding the local food community. I moved here to be with a friend, and I love her to pieces, but she and her family are meat-and-potato-eating lawyers. I've been having to push to get them to try anything new and fun. So figuring out where farmer's markets and the like was really challenging for the first two months. Thankfully, I stumbled on the farmer's market one morning, which helped, and then I got my current job working with the catering company. The chef has been a godsend, he really has- he's not only taught me a lot, but more importantly, he filled me in on where to get the freshest seafood in the city. It's gotten me so excited! I can actually play with food I want to eat again. I haven't been able to do that since I lived in Atlanta. Even better, here in California,  I am literally making more money with two scantily part-time jobs than I did having 3 simultaneous jobs on the East Coast.  I can afford to go to specialty stores and blow $20 on a 12oz bottle of olive oil (my mom nearly had a heart attack when she heard I did that!). Even better, I am able to afford to take a trip back to Atlanta and spend most of my trip at my favorite hotel, the Georgian Terrace. California is a wonderful, wonderful place.
But, as much as I love this coast, I think I'm going to go back east in a couple years. See, while California has really helped me focus on my life and what I want, I've realized that what I want is still in the Southeast.  I'm staying here long enough to sort my life out and become a proper adult, but afterwards I fully intend to go back and fight for the life I want. California is paradise, but the South? The South is home.

Birthday!

Hooray! I'm old!

Haha, not really. I mean, in industry standards, I'm getting there, but it hasn't scared me yet. And this year, I have a lot to celebrate!

First of all, though, I owe the entire catering industry's cooks a huuuuuge apology. I have spent years working on hot lines, making snarky commentary about how line cooks were clearly superior to caterers because we handled intense pressure and heat. However, I  recently began working with a specialty provisions catering company that provides locally sourced and organic meals for outdoors people visiting the local national parks. And frankly?

I LOVE it!!!!!

It is much easier to learn in a catering environment then it ever was on a hot line. The chef I'm working with is just as much of a food science nerd as I am, so I managed to learn more in my first shift than I have in the past 5 years, at least. And knowing I have time to make something correctly? Best feeling in the world. So, caterers, I am so sorry I haven't given you the respect you actually deserve. I'm totally eating well-seasoned crow right now.

Metaphorically, of course. In reality, I've spent my birthday in my favorite state- food coma! I bought a beautiful dry-aged, bone-in rib eye steak from my lovely neighborhood butcher, the Ventura Meat Co, specifically for today as well as a bottle of my favorite scotch. I had toyed with the idea of going to a steakhouse, but based on the recommendation of a friend, I hit the butcher instead. Soooo glad I did. Oh my god. A quick sear and rest and that steak just melted in my mouth like butter. I ate the whole pound of meat. Then gnawed on the bone (my dog was supremely envious). I have literally just spent the rest of my day in a partially-concious state, and that is with only one glass of scotch. I love it. Love it love it love it. And soon, my best gal in Ventura is taking me out for tequila and tacos on the beach. This is the best birthday I've had in years. I'm feeling a tradition coming on!!!

Celebrate pleasure, eat happy!

Study Hard!

Clarity is one of the greatest gifts a person can be given. It's such a fluid notion, that when you can actually get a handle on it, it feels magical. It took me years, but within the past few years I knew I wanted a career in the restaurant industry. It definitely wasn't my life goal as a child, but a passion I grew into. And even more recently, I managed to narrow it down even further. That is big for me- after 25 years of putzing around, I finally have a direction to truly pursue. While I have been saying I want to own a brewpub, I always assumed it would be in a chef/owner role. Something recently occurred to me.

I am a solid cook. I'm not the best chef, nor do I have any desire to be a top chef. The time and sheer energy required behind the line is not something I honestly want to pursue. I love reading my cookbooks, learning about foods and technique, but at the end the day? I am way more interested in creating and running a successful establishment. I won't be Top Chef, but I can damn sure be a Top Restauranteur!

To accomplish that, I'm devoting my next few months earning certifications to improve my job chances in the restaurant field. I'm going for my Cicerone (for beer), WSET (for wine and spirits), and CSW (for wine exclusively). Hopefully I can parlay that into a bar position, and if not, I'll go to school for business management classes. It'll be strange, decreasing my hours working, and spending time studying. I haven't done that since... Hell, I didn't even actually study in high school.

Beyond the pursuit of knowledge, I will admit I am seriously motivated by a hefty dose of spite. It's not healthy, but I'm definitely still harboring a lot of anger over what happened on my trip out here last year. But is it really so bad, when I'm finally finding a healthy way to focus that anger? I just want to be more successful than I originally thought I could be. And if that means hella nerding out for a year or two? I'll do it. I'm pretty certain I can get my level one CSW months sooner than I anticipated originally. I've already got a much better understanding of the Bordeaux and Burgundy regions of France than I thought.

Spite. God it makes me happy.

My Night to Remember

*February 20, 2015*

*5:42pm

There is something to be said for a "devil-may-care" attitude. It winds up creating experiences out of a generally lackluster Friday night. Which is why now, after 3.5hours of SoCal traffic and 3 cigarettes later, I am in Anaheim, California, about to attend a Culinary Institute of America alumni reception/unveiling of a new commercial kitchen. Or something like that. I'm certainly not a CIA alum, and I don't honestly know what's going on  at the moment, Chef Thomas Keller just tweeted about this last night and invited industry professionals in the LA area to attend. So I said screw it and showed up.
I look at this as either a great networking opportunity, or an inspiration for... Something. I've been exercising a lot of patience lately, and I need a little reminder that everything will work itself out. I had my interview for the James Beard Women in Culinary Leadership Grant on Wednesday, and won't hear back for another few days, so I'm really looking forward to this also being a great distraction for me.

6:30pm

Just met Thomas Keller. Night is fucking MADE*

February 23, 2015

That was such an amazing night for me. I am so happy I went! Now, it was awkward at first, as I was a solid 20 years younger (at least) than the majority of the attendees. But as the night went on, and the wine flowed, and Chef Keller introduced himself to me, I began to loosen up, and really take in the event. Turns out that, beyond being an alumni reception, it was also unveiling the new showroom for the Hestan commercial kitchen equipment. I have never been in a room so full of industry professionals who actually knew what the hell they were talking about. And the equipment itself? I was very impressed. Most commercial ovens I've worked with, you have to baby the door so it doesn't fall off after repeated use. The Hestan oven? I watched 3 adult men stand on the open door and use it as a temporary stage. That was freaking awesome.

It was a great night for inspiration. I left that night, rejuvenated and excited for where my career will go. I may be stuck in limbo right now, but I was able to take that night, and go crazy at the farmer's market the next morning. I've been making my mustard, pickles, salmon tartar... I'm happier. And the busier I keep myself, the less I'll panic about the grant! :D

http://www.hestancommercial.com

Habitual Offender

I've never gone out of my way to eat healthy. With an extremely lucky win in the genetics lottery, I've gotten a great metabolism; and working in restaurants has kept me in a perpetually active lifestyle to maintain my bony size 4 butt. So I have never been ashamed of guzzling the occasional Big Gulp™ or chowing down on leftover fried chicken in bed at 2am. However lately I have noticed my tastes changing. I'm craving foods I was very 'meh' about before, and my desire for "normal" boxed grocery fare is on a sharp decline.

Part of it, I'm sure, is the fact that I'm getting older and biologically, yes, tastes do evolve. But I'm sure there's more to it than that. Nine times out of ten, whatever I eat is based on where I happen to be living. My formative years in Maine was a lot of French-Canadian and culinary tastes that got stuck in the late 80's. Chef Boyardee™ also played a huge part. Moving to Atlanta, I was forced out of my comfort zone and got to seriously broaden my horizons- I discovered sushi, true Mexican cuisine, and ate more pork than I ever imagined. Southern cooking became a big part of my culinary repertoire, and I also got introduced to the concept of eating local. Now, amidst this particular evolution, I had no problem with fast foods. Sure, it wasn't "real" food, but if I was only paying a buck for something that might be a burger, I clearly wasn't expecting anything of quality. You get what you pay for.

Then I wound up in Northern California wine country. There were a couple fast food places, but they were always a hassle for me to get to. It was much easier for me to hit up a local farmer's market, maybe check out the brewpub around the corner, or chow down on rice and beans with the sweetest barista I knew. I spent four months eating better than I had in the previous 25 years of my existence. Then I came to Southern California.

I'm sure southern California has farmer's markets, and a great local dining scene. I am just having a bitch of a time finding it. I'm spending time living with people who are very successful career-wise, but when it comes to what they eat? Food is clearly just fuel to them, and not something they actually enjoy. They have more canned vegetables than they ever possibly eat, and cabinets overflowing with processed protein bars. My cooking for them is no end of frustration, because while they admit what I make is good, they are clearly more excited for Campbell's. They are the pickiest eaters I've seen outside of a kindergarten classroom. I love them, but if we stop at one more drive through I'm going to put a nail through someone's tongue. And they wonder why their diets don't work???

With any luck, over the next few months, I can have my eating habits rub off on them. I will hit the markets harder than I ever have before. I won't cook for them anymore- I will cook for me, and offer to share. I'm sick of poor eating habits. And maybe, just maybe, I can actually teach them something. If nothing else, my stomach will be happier.

~Romance~ and Reality

For the first Valentine's day in 12 years, I am not working. For the umpteenth Valentine's day, I am dateless. One would expect me to be bitter, like so many of my cynical friends. But I am an eternal optimist, and a romantic. Or sucker, whatever you want to call it.

As a general rule of thumb, restaurant industry folks don't celebrate Valentine's day on the 14th. If they have a significant other in the first place. For the ones that do, they go out a week earlier or later, or do something sweet like cook dinner or whatever else is vomit-inducingly adorable. For the single ones, we generally go get blackout drunk after the shift and wind up in bed with a stranger, a coworker, or strange coworker.

Coming from an industry standpoint, relationships are HARD. It's so easy to get caught up in the "hit it and quit it" transient mentality, thanks to the weird hours and staff turnover, that actually connecting with someone is difficult to maintain. I thoroughly enjoyed the hookup culture, and the one quasi-serious relationship I had with a chef was one of the most emotionally fulfilling I had ever had. Being single is infinitely easier in the long run. And right now, it's what I need.

I'm trying to finally focus my career, solidify myself as an adult, the whole nine yards. My application to James Beard Foundation Women in Culinary Leadership grant has actually managed to get to the interview stage. If I get it, it would be a massive step for me career-wise. I am so excited for that. I'm really ready to focus. And, if all goes well, maybe next year I'll be in a stable place where I can focus on making a relationship work. Or, you know, kicking ass again solo.

In the meantime, this year, my best gal pal and I are going chill with a $3 bottle of wine and chill with some good ol' crockpot cooking.

Food nerd

Since getting to California, I've been making a habit of hitting thrift stores to collect culinary books. Cookbooks, wine books, memoirs- the whole nine yards. Originally, I was searching for recent publications that my cheap butt could nab for 80% less than in bookstores, but then I came across a copy of Food & Wine Best of 1989. I had to get it, '89 was the year I was born and I was curious to see what people were eating back then. Since then, I was hooked on more, shall we say, "vintage" books.

I never went to any sort of culinary higher education beyond a vocational class in high school, and then we were using recipe books published in the 80's (in suburban Maine, that's where many palates were rooted in the early 2000s anyway). And nowadays, there are a plethora of amazing cookbooks on the market that are full of bright, innovative, clean dishes- nothing like what I grew up with. Reading through the old books versus the new, it awed me just how different people ate even just 20 years ago. So, from an EXTREMELY nerdy anthropological perspective, it fascinated me.

From another educational side of it, because of my lack of "official" education, having old books makes me feel like I can "catch up" on the formal schooling- when I would have gone to culinary school, I probably still would have been referring to older books. The chef memoirs I admire the most, they all mention classic cookbooks from the 60s and 70s- if they can create fun dishes from old recipe inspiration, surely I can figure something like that out.

Cooking is something that anyone can do. However, creating? Innovating? That takes talent, but more than that, it takes knowledge. How can you riff on classics if you don't understand them? My collection has grown exponentially. And I couldn't be more excited. I love learning about food, and look forward to sharing it with everyone- hopefully making it fun in the process. Second blog will hopefully be coming soon!!!

Write Stuff

I've got writer's block. Like, BAD. Not for this blog, but I've decided to start a second, more food-focused blog, and I'm struggling with starting it. I want it to be like a combination of a review site and educational- kind of like a cross between 'No Reservations' and Alton Brown's 'Good Eats'. I want to make food as fascinating to other people as I find it. And I have plenty of material! I wind up ranting about food all day. It's just that I don't know how to introduce the topic to everyone. It's frustrating. Hopefully I can knock something out in the next week. In the meantime, if you have any food issues you're curious about, leave a comment below!

Sand and Tacos

"Variety is the spice of life".

One of the oldest clichés in the book. it's strange to think about, I've been in Southern California now for about... 3 weeks? I'm more comfortable now, however I'm still adjusting. I'm now working for my best friend's mom on a very temporary basis. However I feel like she wants me to work more full time. Well, both of them. I'm still not sure I want to make that commitment. I just got confirmation that my grant application was being considered, and part of me really wants to pursue that. However, I did tell V that I would be here as long as she needed me. It's just odd trying to strike a balance between what I think she needs and what I know I need.
I had something resembling a life up in Northern California. Now I have something resembling a life in Southern California. Both have their high points, I love the spaciousness and the quiet of Northern California. After 6 years in Atlanta, it was a refreshing, revitalizing break. Being back down in Ventura, after a less-than-admirable first visit, I really am loving this entire downtown beachy area. I love the laid-back atmosphere. And seeing as I'm only working a few days a week, I'm finding that I have a lot of time to myself. I'm not used to that.

It would be far easier to pursue culinary aspects up north. However it almost feels as though the South needs it more. Is that odd to say? After all, Los Angeles is one of the biggest food cities in the country. However when the surrounding "suburbs" are full of trash food like Taco Bell and Jack in the Box, what am I supposed to think? At least around Northern California, their better restaurants are still surrounded by really good produce and locally-conscious farmers.

I wish the right options were obvious. I'm really hoping they become so in the next few weeks. In the meantime... Beach tacos.

BEACH TACOS

Flour taco shells

Filling:
Fish fillets
1tsp cumin
Lime juice
Red pepper flakes
1tsp honey
Salt & Pepper
Torn cilantro
Coconut oil

Topping:
Shaved cabbage
Julienned zucchini
Julienned mango
Olive oil
Apple cider vinegar

Directions:
Filling:
Heat a small amount of coconut oil in a sautee pan. Sprinkle the seasonings over the fish filets, then sear them in the pan.
Topping:
Toss the cabbage, zucchini, and mango with splashes of olive oil and vinegar.
Assembly:
Really? It's a fucking taco. Figure it out and put it in your face-hole.

A Tale of Two Civilizations

I've had an exciting almost two months! December and the holidays flew by with minimal fanfare,  and once January hit, I  shook things up a bit more.

I have a good friend, V. I have known this girl my entire life, she is one of a small handful of girls I really truly trust. In the beginning of January,  she got in touch- she was engaged to a guy who has enlisted in the Marines. He is currently in boot camp, and she was having a rough time adjusting. Now, she and I are both Marine Corps brats- we grew up in the military lifestyle. So, if she's having a hard time, I'm going to be there. She asked me to visit her in Southern California, so I quit my job and moved down for a bit. (I take this "friends" business seriously. )

I did not realize just how much of a hippie NorCal had made me. I had gotten so used to readily available fresh, local produce, friendly neighbors and proprietors,  and fresh air. Down here, I am far more aware of judgemental suburban stares, botox everywhere, and grocery stores grating on meine nerven. I don't mind it, I know it's only temporary, but it did have me feeling lost for a while. My saving grace was finding Underwood Hills Farmer's Market. And their PYGMY GOATS. OH MY GOD THE PYGMY GOATS. Cutest furry twats on the planet. I am in love with those suckers.

I can't even pretend I know what I want to do when I grow up. However, this latest adventure back into civilization has given me major insight into what makes me happy. So, I applied to the James Beard Foundation Women in Culinary Leadership grant in order to hopefully educate myself to hopefully educate others on how not to depend on Del Taco five nights a week. And if I can one day own a small parcel of land and raise pygmy goats? Being around that much adorable will make me the happiest woman on goddamn Earth.

I won't hear back about the grant for a few weeks or so. But until then, I've been cooking more. This is a fun lamb recipe I concocted while I've been going stir crazy!

Herbed Roast Lamb Leg

Chopped Tarragon
Chopped Rosemary
Chopped Shallots
Salt and Pepper
Boneless lamb leg, tied or netted into an even roast shape
Merlot

Set your oven for 350 degrees farenheit. Lay the lamb in a roasting pan, fatty side up. Chop enough herbs and shallots to completely cover the outside of the lamb, and rub them in with the salt and pepper. Douse that sucker in about 2 cups of merlot. Roast for about an hour and fifteen minutes, adding 2 more cups of merlot about a half hour into the process. The lamb is done when its internal temp is 140. Let it rest, covered, for 10 minutes prior to carving. Use any leftover liquid in the pan as a sauce.

This shit is delicious with a pomegranate-arugula salad and cous cous.