My Fixation

I am obsessed with food. I suppose I could also be called a "foodie", but I would hope not in the insufferable, annoyingly hipster, douchey sense it has come to be associated with.

I have a love affair with flavors, textures, and smells. There is nothing more beautiful to me than a well-designed menu, nothing more erotic than a gorgeous plate presented in an appropriate setting.  An inventive cocktail,  or an exceptionally well-made classic,  send my tastebuds into a complete tizzy.

But it's not just fine dining that gets me drooling more than Pavlov's dog. I also have a soft spot for the chwap, the greasy, and the "clearly-going-to-put-me-in-an-early-grave". Food is an adventure, the Final Frontier I otherwise wouldn't get to explore if I were to wait on space travel. It is because of this I have an exceptionally low tolerance for picky eaters.

Before everyone gets all up in arms about "respecting people's preferences" and all of that hoopla, let me explain- picky eaters piss me off so much because I WAS ONCE ONE MYSELF.

I decided I hated any food that came out of the sea or from a pig, onions, tomatoes, pickles, peppers, stroganoff, horseradish, anything that looked weird, and anything made with anything from that list. As well as a few things I'm forgetting,  I'm sure. I lived in Maine for eight years and refused to eat seafood. I didn't believe people who told me, "Oh, your tastes will change as you get older!"

I'm not entirely convinced that's the whole case. To be fair, yes, my tastes have changed, but I think early exposure could be a big difference too. I had a pretty standard hot dogs-and-grilled cheese menu growing up, and when new foods were introduced, it was always an overly intense and overwhelming experience.  These days, I go to restaurants and see children devouring sushi and sweetbreads and offal of all kinds. Part of it is probably the celebrity chef/foodie culture that has been developing over the past few decades. People are seeing all of this food porn floating around, and passing it to their kids. It's awesome to see... and twice as maddening to see pickiness rearing it's ugly head. With SO MUCH available from so many other cultures, how can anyone not be curious?!

Try everything twice, just in case the first time got fucked up.